Deserving Me
by NeensBeens
Summary: AU: What if Elena didn't forget her encounter with Damon 2x08? How would this change things, and will it give her a new perspective on him? Cannon universe until after the encounter. [Damon S.] [Elena G.]
1. I Don't Deserve You

Deserving Me

**AU: What if Elena didn't forget her encounter with Damon 2x08? How would this change things, and will it give her a new perspective on him? Cannon universe until after the encounter. **

**Chapter 1: I Don't Deserve You**

It felt good to be back home with my family, and it's all thanks to Stefan and Damon. They came to rescue me and free me from my captors, which I'm eternally grateful for their services. As of this moment, all I wanted to do was clean myself up and head to bed. I wanted to try and forget the previous torments and start a new day. Currently, I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Luckily, there wasn't that much bruising from the encounter today, and I wouldn't have to cover anything up for Aunt Jenna or my classmates. I glance at myself in the mirror for a quick moment. My hair was becoming slightly wavy from not straightening it in awhile, I just took my makeup off, and I was wearing striped pj shorts with a navy blue camisole. Averting my gaze, I head into my bedroom to head to bed. I abruptly stop seeing someone sitting on my window seal and my breath hitches in shock. Seeing that it's Damon, I relax a bit, but I'm still on edge with his presence right now. Was he drunk? Would he make another bad choice, or try to snap my brother's neck again? "Cute PJ's." He says and I straighten up my posture in an attempt to ease myself a bit.

"I'm tired, Damon." I say defensively, and he stands up and begins to approach me. He reaches into my pocket and pulls out a necklace… my necklace, the one Stefan gave to me.

"Brought you this." He says holding it up, and I feel my face change to a look of surprise.

"I thought that was gone…" I draw in awe, and he just makes a facial gesture, not choosing to elaborate on how he managed to get it. "Thank you." I sign out, reaching for my necklace, but he pulls it away from me. Fear builds up at this action since that necklace contained vervain in it, and if he was pulling it away meant that he might want to compel me. I stare at him for a couple of seconds with wide eyes before adding, "Please give it back."

He has a conflicted expression, which makes me even more nervous. "I just have to say something." He says and feel my breathing hitch slightly in fear. He begins to approach me further and I back away fearfully.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" I ask, my voice shaking slightly. I knew that he could hear my accelerated heartbeat, so he must know that I'm anxious of what he's doing right now. He makes a small sound as if about to speak, but then pauses again with furrowed brows.

"Because what I'm about to say is… probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life." He says and the fear in me picks up 100 times more and I'm becoming more anxious by his presence

"Damon, don't go there." I warn his lowering my head slightly. Damon is notorious for being selfish and if what he's about to say is the most selfish things he's said in his life, so it must be pretty bad.

"I just have to say it once." He says while getting closer to me, however I also back up. "You just need to hear it." He adds, and when he stops walking towards me I stop retreating. The curious side of my was piquing and I knew that Damon wouldn't hurt me, he just needed to get something off of his chest.

"I love you, Elena." He said staring directly into my eyes. I feel my breathing stop completely at that statement, and all I can do is stare at him with wide eyes. "...and it's because I love you that… I can't be selfish with you." He says and I feel myself grow more tense. What was this? Did he really mean this? How do I even respond to this? I can feel tears slightly form up in my eyes at his confession. "Why you can't know this… I don't deserve you." He says and I feel my heart drop at his words. I had never heard Damon speak to me so genuinely to me before. "But my brother does." He adds and I feel my heart shatter. How could be say that this confession was selfish? He then leans in, and I'm about to speak, saying not to kiss me, but he kisses my forehead. His lips are soft and warm, and the action just makes me want to cry more. He then reaches to brush back some of my hair while stroking my cheek softly. "God, I wish you didn't have to forget this." He says and I feel my eyebrows furrow in confusion. "But you do." He adds, and I notice that a tear falls from his eye. Never had I seen Damn cry, and I feel my heart drop once more. After I blink he's gone.

What just happened? Did… did he try to compel me to forget his confession? I feel the weight of my necklace on my collarbone and hold it slightly. Just then tears start coming out. Everything that I had tried to hide, all of my sorrow and guilt, everything came out at once. I cried for everything that has happened to me, I cried for my brother, my aunt, my parents, and for Damon. God, why did he have to be such an idiot. He deserves all the happiness in the world, yet he chooses to let himself stay in the shadows so that his brother can be happy. God, Damon why. Why did you have to say your confession? Why did you have to be so selfless? Why could you not realize that I would drink vervain in order to protect myself against vampires as soon as I got home? Why?

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When I woke up the next morning I felt relieved in a way. I had cried out all the pain I've been feeling for the past couple of months and it felt good to get everything out of my system. I feel a slight buzz in my pocket and accept the call.

"Stefan? Is something wrong?" I ask concerned. Why would he call me when it was almost time for school.

"Yeah, it's just… I need you to come to my place so that we can talk. There's something important that we need to talk about, okay?" He asks and I take a deep breath. Hopefully I won't run into Damon, because I don't know if I'm ready for that yet.

"Okay, I'll be there soon. See ya."

"See you soon." He replies before I hang up. I sigh and decide that it's best that I don't sit around for much longer. I put on a blue sweater and jeans and I also put on some makeup. After straightening my hair, I get my bags ready and headed downstairs. Jenna is down there getting ready for work.

When she notices me she asks, "Hey, Elena. You heading to school?"

"Yeah, wanted to make sure that I arrived early today." I lie, hoping that she won't catch onto me, since I'm notorious for being a horrible liar.

"Okay, I'll see you after school?" She asks, finishing up typing something on her computer, most likely something that she had to do for work.

"Yeah, I'll see you then. Bye." I reply, wanting to get to the boarding house as soon as I can. Stefan said that it was important, and I don't have much time to talk right now.

"Bye, have a nice day." She says cheerfully, putting her computer in her purse.

"Thanks!" I reply before heading out of the house and to my car. I head over to the boarding house in no time, and I knock on the door. The door opens, and I nearly have a heart attack, seeing that it's Damon. He smiles meekly at me and I just cough nervously.

"Hello, Elena." He says smoothly, but I can clearly see that he is pushing something back. If only he knew that I remembered everything.

"Uhm, uh. I-is Stefan here? He called… said it was important." I say, avoiding eye contact with him. He moves out of the way, while opening the door as a gesture for me to get in.

"Right this way." He says and I step in and move past him quickly Hopeful he doesn't think that I'm acting weird.

"Hey." I hear Stean say from my left side and he walks towards me. I feel relieved to see him and I straighten up the bag that is on my shoulder.

"What is this about?" I ask in almost a whisper. His expression becomes more serious and he turns revealing Rose behind him. My eyes widen at her presence.

"You." I breathe out, a bit fearful. She was one of my flashed a shy smile and I continue to stare at her with wide eyes. Stefan then gets back into my vision and gestures his head as a way of telling me to move to the living room to talk about everything. As I am moving there Damon moves past me slightly brushing me as he moves past and I stop walking and feel my breathing hitch. He turns and looks at me with a confused expression. Crap. he knows that something is up. I continue making my way to the living room and take a seat on the couch.

"Okay, you have to understand that I only know what I've picked up over the years, and I don't know what's true and what's not true. That's the problem with all of this vampire crap, but Klaus I know is real." Rose rants, and halfway into the rant my eyes wander towards Damon. He seems fixed on everything she has to say, and when he gaze switches to me I look away abruptly.

"Who.." I draw before shaking my head slightly to clear it. "Who is he?"

"He's one of the originals. He's a legend." Damon says and lek everytime he talks I feel my heart rate increase.

"He's one of the first generations of vampires." Stefan adds and I let go of a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Elijah?" I ask, wondering if they were similar.

"No, Eijah was the Easter Bunny compared to Klaus. He's a foot soldier. Klaus is the real deal." Rose says with her hands on her hips.

"Klaus is known to be… the oldest." Stefan says sternly and I can't help but feel uneasy at the mention of such a man… or vampire, I should say.

"Okay so… you're saying that the oldest vampire in the history of time is coming after me?" I ask, my voice laced in fear.

Rose holds out her arms and says,"Yes-"

"No." Damon interrupts. Crap I already feel myself growing anxious. Why can't I just act cool right now? Damon stands up and walks next to Rose while saying, "What they're saying is. I mean if what she's saying is true-"

"Which it is." Rose interrupts.

"And you're not just saying so we don't kill you."

"Which I'm not."

"Then, we're looking at a solid… maybe." Damon says which does help with my fear of Klaus.

"Look, Elijah's dead, right so no one else even knows that you exist." Stefan says while moving to sit next to me.

"Not that you know of." Rose adds.

"That's not helping." Damon adds saying my thoughts for me.

"Look, I haven't even met anyone who's laid eyes on him, I mean we're talking centuries of truth mixed with fiction. I mean we don't know what's real, for all we know he could be just some sort of stupid bedtime story." Stefan says trying to reassure me.

"He's real and he doesn't give up, if he wants something... he gets it. If you're not afraid of Klaus, than you're an idiot." Rose says while spikes my nervousness once more.

"Alright we're shaking. You made your point." Damon says which brings my attention to him gain. At least my nervousness for him is slightly less after hearing about Klaus. I'm about to stand up and leave when I hear Damon asked, "Are you alright? You've been acting weird this morning."

My head snaps up to him and I straighten up the strap to my bag Bag. Bag! "Bag." I say without thinking and everyone looks at me confusedly. "School. Yes." I say awkwardly. "I have to go." I sigh and begin heading for the door.

"Let me uh… I'm gonna grab my stuff. I'll go with you." Stefan says while getting up and approaching me.

"It's okay. I know where it is." I say, needing as much space from everyone as possible. I then nod at Stefan and he nods back, before I head out of the house.

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I was now walking through the woods with Caroline. I felt bad lying to Stefan saying that I was heading to school, but I had to find answers, and this was the only thing that I could think of that might help me get some. "Tell everyone that I wasn't feeling well, and that I'm going home from school." I say to Caroline, continuing my way to my destination.

"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this… I'm a terrible liar." Caroline says, trying to make a point to me, however that doesn't do much to stop my efforts.

"Then keep Stefan busy, I don't want him knowing what I'm up to." I reply.

"I'm even worse at duplicity, and you know this!" Caroline replies, not wanting me to follow through with this

"You managed to keep me occupied when Katherine paid Stefan a visit." I fire back at her.

"Yeah, because she threatened me… not that I'm saying that you should use that as tactic it's… Stefan's gonna see right through me." Caroine says and we both stop.

"Caroline… as my friend do you promise or not." I tell her seriously.

Caroline sighs before saying, "You had to break out the girlfriend code." I stared at her with my eyebrows raised as a symbol that I needed her to give me a cut and clear response. "Okay, I promise" Satisfied, I continue walking through the woods and Caroline follows behind me. "Why don't you want Stefan to know?" She asks me.

"Because he would never be okay with me doing this." I reply while moving down some rocks. I hear Caroline sigh behind me, but she follows nonetheless. Soon enough we're inside the cave and I set my bag down.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Caroline asks me fearfully.

"Yes, I'm sure. She's the only one who knows the truth about Klaus… the only one who can tell me how to stop him." I sigh.

"But you're asking the truth from somebody who's probably never given it." Carline says while sighing. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I can't just sit back and wait… I have to know." I reply and Caroline turns her head, looking at the symbol in the cave. "Please." I add and she looks at me skeptically. Sighing, she moves to the door barrier and moves it aside. As I approach, she backs up. "Katherine?" I call out to her, getting closer. I then turn to Caroline and added, "I'll be okay from here." She looks at me with a wary look, but then I heard movement from inside the cave. It's too dark to make out anything though. Then I see a pale and frail Katherine step into the light. She runs into the cave wall and makes her way towards me.

"Hello, Elena." She says in a weak scratchy voice. I look at her with wide eyes not having any words as I stare at the shadow of herself. "You come to watch me wither away…" Then she notices Caroline and her gaze hardens. "Goodbye, Caroline."

I turn to Caroline and say, "As long as I stand on this side of the door, she can't hurt me… please." I say and after a little bit Caroline exits the cave, and I turned my attention back to Katherine.

"Stefan know you're here?" She asks me.

"I brought you some things." I reply, not answering her question.

"You came to bribe me. What is it that you want?" She spits out at me.

I throw the bag that I was carrying earlier towards the entrance and say, "I want you to tell me about, Klaus."

"Mmmm… you've been busy." Katherine says. I take out a plastic water bottle that was filled with blood and place it on the floor.

"I also brought you this." I say pulling out a book that I got earlier. "It's your family history. It says here that the family line ended with you." I say and then there is a pause, neither of us speaking. "Obviously that's not true." I add referring to me. Isobel was a descendant from Katherine, which means that Katherine must've had a child.

"You think that if you brought me some family keepsake, that I'd finally open up?" Katherine says disbelievingly. I sigh before I pick up the water bottle filled with blood and hold it up.

"I also brought you this." I say, and she immediately runs for it, but is stopped by the barrier. Clearly after being starved for a while she'd be desperate. Her gaze is hungry on the blood as I add, "You don't look so good… How long before your body shuts down? 10, 20 years? Must be painful to decimate and mummify… I can't even imagine." Katherine then moves down to the ground signifying that she's willing to talk, and I also crouch to be at her level. I take out a small plastic cup and pour a tiny amount of blood in it. I then grab a stick on the ground and push it towards her. Taking the cup she says, "You've got the Petrova fire." Before gulping down the blood.

"More blood?" I ask her and she places the cup down. I pull it towards me slowly and she sighs.

"It's a long story. Klaus and I. It goes all the way back to England 1492, after I left Bulgaria." While she was talking a pours and gave her another small cup of blood. She drinks it down and I furrow my brows at her previous statements.

"Thrown out?" I ask, thinking about what she said aboutBulgaria.

"By my family… your true ancestors. They disowned me. My indiscretions were not tolerated at bedtime. I had a baby out of wedlock. Shame." She replies.

"It was kept secret?" I ask curious as to what happened to the baby.

"My baby was given away." She says and for the first time I feel sympathetic for Katherine. Having your child taken away must've been horrible. " I was banished to England. I had to learn to adjust, so I quickly became English. I was there when I caught the eye of a nobleman named, Klaus. I was taken with him at first… until I found out what he was, and what he wanted from me… and then I ran like hell."

"So… what did Klaus want from you?" I ask handing her another small cup of blood.

"The same thing he'll want from you." She replies before drinking it. "He wants to break the curse."

"By sacrificing the Petrova doppelganger." I say in realization.

"He wanted to drain every single drop of blood from my body." She explains and I feel my heart rate accelerate at the thought. I still need more information so I sit back down and fill another cup and slide it over to her.

"What does the Petrova bloodline have to do with Klaus?" I ask her, and she looks at me for a second before taking the cup. It's really tedious but.." She stops to drink the blood before continuing, "The curse was bound by the sacrifice of Petrova blood. Witches are crafty with their spells. The doppelganger was created as a way to undo the spell… once a doppelganger reappeared the curse can be broken."

"So you ran… before he killed you." I say and she quirks her brow slightly thinking something over.

"Something like that." She replies before telling me about how she came to a cabin that Trevor had told her about and talking about how she saw Rose, and how Rose was less than willing to give her aid. Then she talks about how by nightfall Rose discovers that she got hurt trying to kill herself and gave her her blood to heal her. Next, she talks about how she hung herself in hopes that Klaus would leave her alone once she was a vampire.

"You killed yourself?!" I ask, shocked.

"Klaus needed a human doppelganger, as a vampire, I was no longer any use to him"

"But it didn't work. You didn't really escape from him, you've been running from Klaus ever since."

"I underestimated his spirit for vengeance. Living out of a suitcase is better than dying so that you could have your blood spilled over some silly little rock… what's wrong?" She asks looking at my saddened gaze. "Afraid I'm right?" She asks with her head slightly tilted. "You don't wanna die? There's another way out." She says before making a tiny cut on her wrist. "Better hurry. Your opportunity is going, going, and gone." She adds once it's fully healed. "I made the other choice."

"Rose and Trevor spent the last 500 years running because you used them. Trevor just got killed!" I spit out at her.

"I never thought he would've lasted that long." Katherine shrugs taking another cup of blood to her mouth and drinking it.

"You don't even care that you ruined their lives." I say, unbelievingly.

"I was looking out for myself, Elena. I will always look out for myself… if you're smart… you'll do the same." She says and I let out a long breath as I think over everything she mentioned. I stand up and run a hand through my hair in a frustrated gesture. I turn back to the cave, no Katherine in sight. She must've returned to the shadows, so I pick up my bag and items.

"Elena." I hear a voice say and I turn to see Stefan coming down the stairs.

"Stefan, what are you doing here?" I ask confusedly.

"I could ask you the same question." He says and I sigh, knowing how he found out.

"Caroline told you." I sigh, disappointed in her.

"No, she kept your secret, but it didn't take long to figure out what was so important that you'd have to keep it from me."

"I knew that you'd stop me."

"Listen, whatever she said to you is a lie. Do not listen to her, she is a liar, Elena."

"What if she isn't. You didn't hear what she said." I reply, desperate for him to understand what I'm saying.

You don't have to worry… I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"That's the problem. You won't." I say. I can't let anymore people get hurt because of me. "But you'll die trying, how is that any better?"

"There's nothing you can do, Stefan." Katherine says emerging from the shadows which snaps both of our attention to her. "I haven't even told you the best part of the story. When I came back home, Klaus killed everybody… my entire family, just to get back at me for running. Whatever you do to escape Klaus, he will get his vengeance and your friends, your family and anybody that you've ever loved." Katherine says and Stefan turns me to look at him.

"No, look at me… do not listen to her, okay?" Stefan asks me, and I can stare at him, not sure what to believe.

"Always the protector… even you must realize that she's doomed. There's nothing you can do to stop it… unless of course you have this." Katherine says pulling up the moonstone.

"What?" I ask stepping forward in shock.

"Oh, there it is… it's the ultimate lie isn't it." Stefan says. He begins walking towards her and points at her before adding, "You spun this whole thing, so that we would have to get the stone from you, didn't you?"

"I didn't spin anything, Stefan, it's the truth." Katherine says, putting down the stone and crossing her arms.

"No, because you wanna trade that stone, for your freedom." Stefan says and Katherine's eyebrows furrow at his statement. "You manipulative psychotic bitch." He adds coldly.

"Huh, my freedom?" She asks unbelievingly. "That's where you're wrong, Stefan. I don't want my freedom, because when Klaus shows up to kill us all, and he will. I'll be in the tomb, where no vampire will enter because they can't get out. I'll be the safest psychotic bitch in town." She says and Stefan turns to look at me as we both try to understand everything that has happened.

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It was a blur. Leaving the cave, and heading home. Stefan and I hadn't said a word until we reached my front porch. "Elena." Stefn says I I hurry my way to the door, jamming the key in to get inside as quickly as possible.

"I can't talk right now, Stefan." I say pulling hard on the door, but to no avail.

"You have to, don't shut me out." He says softly, and I turn myself, tears in my eyes towards him. "Elena, please." He begs.

"I wanted to know the truth, and I got it. It's not just me that's in danger it it it's C-caroline, and it's Tyler, and it's Bonnie." I stuttered trying to speak all of my thoughts as confident as possible but the tears are threatening to come out. "They're all a part of breaking the curse. I can't blame anyone else anymore, because it's not because you came into town, or because you and I fell in love. That's not why everyone that I love is in danger. It's because of me, everything is because of me." I sob and Stefan pulls me into his arms, softly shushing me as a way to calm me down and comfort me. I hug him back, clinging to any form of comfort that I can. It takes a good minute before I let go of him and brush away some of the tears. "Feeling better?" He asks me softly and I look up at him.

"To be honest, no, but thank you for being here." I say to him and he smiles softly, although I can tell that his smile is pained as well.

"I'll always be here for you, Elena. No matter what." He says, stroking my face lightly.

"Thank you, Stefan. That means a lot to me." I reply to him with a soft smile. He smiles in return and leans in to give me a soft kiss on the cheek. I hug him one last time before adding, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Elena." He replies before heading away, back to him home. As soon as he's gone I burst out crying again and I lean my head on the doorframe. I couldn't have everyone that I love die because of me. Stefan and Damon have always protected me… now it's my turn. I know what I have to do. I have to give up my life, so that they can live.

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**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter, and I'll be trying to keep consistent uploads on this story. Before you leave, though I'd just like to mention that there will be some Stelena moments in this fanfiction. I don't think it's realistic to just have it be 100% Damon and Elena, especially given that this time Elena was in love with Stefan. I'd also like to mention that I actually like Stefan. I ship Elena with Damon, but I like Stefan as a character. I don't like it when people portray him as someone evil, when that's not in Stefan's character at all. I will slowly build up to Delena, but please be patient with me. Anyways, I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter, and I can't wait to get some of the feedback! **


	2. I am That Selfish

Deserving Me

**AU: What if Elena didn't forget her encounter with Damon 2x08? How would this change things, and will it give her a new perspective on him? Cannon universe until after the encounter. **

**Chapter 2: I am That Selfish**

I woke up in my bed late at night, but when I sat up, my door was slightly cracked open. I didn't remember leaving the door like that, however I just assumed that Aunt Jenna opened the door to check up on me before she went to bed. I turned onto my side and close my eyes, hoping that I might be able to fall asleep again. A sharp noise jolts me awake and I look at the door once again… no one's there. I get up cautiously and move my way to the door. I push it farther open and peer my head around the corner. Seeing nothing, I continue my movements and head down the upstairs hallway, just to make sure. I hear a soft clink behind me and I turn around in a gasp, only to find Rick… shirtless… with a bowl of ice cream? What is going on?

"Elena." He says awkwardly, and I straighten up trying to clear my mind from everything that was going on. 'Well this is awkward.' I thought to myself. I couldn't even form a sentence while in this situation.

"I heard something." I say and he laughs awkwardly, then Aunt Jenna joins his side.

"That was us." She says, and I don't even know what to say. This situation just got too awkward Jenna and my teacher are… I don't even want to think about it. "I'm sorry." She adds and I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

"We didn't think anyone else was up." Rick says, trying his best to explain himself. I could feel a blush of embarrassment forming on my face the more I thought about it, and I try to clear all thoughts from my mind in order to preserve my sanity.

"But yet here you are, and here I am, in my underwear." Jenna chips in, which only makes me more embarrassed. Good luck clearing my head of all thoughts now...

"We were just… hanging out…" He says, before sighing. "Chunky Monkey?" He offers, holding out his bowl towards me. Really? That's all he can say after being caught in this situation?

"I'm… not hungry… at all." I say, a little harsher than I intended to. I suppose I'm just tired from being woken up at such a late time, and now I was looking for any way to get me out of this conversation.

"Well… I'm naked… so I'm gonna go." Rick says awkwardly before moving passes me. Phew… he evaded the conversation so that I didn't have to. I feel my body ease slightly in relief.

I begin walking towards my room, but then I hear Aunt Jenna say, "I'm really, really sorry."

"It's okay… don't worry about it." I reply reassuringly. It really wasn't a problem. I didn't mind Aunt Jenna being with Rick. They seemed happy enough, and it's not my pace to stop them.

"I know he's been staying over a lot, are you- are you sure it's okay?" She asks nervously. I'm a bit curious as to why she thinks that she needs my permission. There's nothing wrong with it, just as long as I'm not woken up anymore.

"Seems like things are good." I say with a shrug. Honestly, I haven't seen Jenna this happy in awhile, and I'm happy for them.

"They're extremely good." She replies with a big smile and I let out a small laugh at her expression.

"Then I'm extremely okay with it." I reply giving her a wide eyed look. We head back to our rooms and I headed back to bed in order to fall asleep again. I nestle myself snuggle within the sheets and drift off back into slumber.

**(This scene was to have Luka steal something of Elena's, and to be true to the plot, I figured that I had to include all scenes from this episode. Also I try to get all the dialogue correct and make the internal dialogue believable.)**

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When I woke up, I spent some time in the morning thinking over everything that I had to do today. Then it hits me. I remember Stefan talking about a guy named, Slater who had a lot of info about Klaus and the curse. Perhaps I could see if Slater could contact somebody in order to give myself up without hurting anyone that I care about. I just have to figure out how to contact him. Then it hits me. I had to go talk to Rose today. I get up from bed and change into my clothes, do my makeup, and get ready to head out. When I'm about to leave I hear a knock at the door and groan. I open the door to see Stefan standing there.

"Hey… can we talk?" He asks, and I internally cringe inside. I guess I'll have to wait a little longer until I can continue my plans.

"Why?" I ask confusedly. What did he even need to talk about?

"We went to see, Katherine." Damon says, and it's only then that I realize that he's standing right beside Stefan. I feel my breathing hitch a bit, in the way that it has been since the confession. Then, I realize what he's said. They went to see Katherine… well this is just wonderful…

"Come on in." I tell them both with a sigh. I knew that I had to hear what they wanted to talk about, and it might be better than my current plan. I usher them over to the kitchen where we could talk privately. "Okay… so what happened with Katherine?" I asked curiously.

Stefan and Damon exchange glances before Stefan says, "Basically, Katherine took back what she said about not wanting to leave the tomb-"

Damon then interrupts saying,"So, that bitch said that she'd give us the stone, and in return we'd allow her to leave the tomb-"

"But, she also said that she's leaving town for good if we let her out of the tomb." Stefan adds and I sigh.

"You don't believe her, do you?" I ask with my brows furrowed. Stefan was the one who initially told me that Katherine couldn't be trusted, so why would they believe anything that she says now?

"No, of course not. We just want the moonstone." Damon says while tossing an orange back and forth between his hands. It makes me wonder how he can be so calm after his confession, because I can't think straight after everything.

Stefan's voice snaps me from my thoughts, "According to Rose's friend, Slater, there's a way to destroy the spell that Klaus wants to break." That get's my attention. What spell could break the curse, and how would we even find it?

"No spell, no doppelganger sacrifice… ergo, you live." Damon adds, putting me right back out of it again. Great, how am I supposed to focus when all I can think about was the words Damon said to me two nights ago?

"How do we destroy it?" I ask with my arms folded, trying to sound as collected and put together as possible. I can't have Damon know that I heard his confession. I can't have him distracted.

"By releasing it from the moonstone" Stefan says leaning over the counter top. I think about it for a second before my mind goes back to it's previous mind set.

"How do you guys even know this is gonna work?" I sigh, plopping my arms back to my sides and taking a step forward towards them.

"Cause we have a crafty witch on our side." Damon says, which doesn't do much to relieve any of my worry.

You discussed it with Bonnie." I say glancing downward. I can't have Bonnie caught up in this too. I know how much she'll do to protect me, and I don't want any more people getting hurt because of me.

"She agreed to do anything she could to help us." Stefan says trying to ease my concern, but I can't stop my thoughts from being carried to the worse case scenarios.

"It's Katherine who has the moonstone. She's not gonna give it to you." I reply defiantly.

"We're gonna get it from her." Stefan says before getting cut off.

"What he means to say is that we will pry it from her cold, dead hand if we have to." Damon says and I take a seat at the island stool.

"Bonnie just needs to find a way to release the seal long enough for us to get in, get the moonstone and get out in time for her to return it." Stefan says and I sigh.

"Wow. I mean it sounds like you guys already have it all planned out." I say.

"Yep, we're awesome." Damon says, which makes me want to roll my eyes at his comment.

"Except for one thing… I don't want you to do it." I sigh, and both Stefan and Damon look confused at what I've just said.

"What are you talking about? Elena, we don't have a choice." Stefan says with his brows knitted together in confusion.

"What about Klaus?" I add, saying what has been on my mind throughout this entire conversation. What can we do to stop Klaus from getting revenge. I can't have him hurt my loved ones.

"We'll find him, but after we get the moonstone." Stefan tries to explain to me. Do they really believe that they can hunt down an original? Not only an original, but the oldest vampire in the history of time?!

"Is that before or after he kills everyone that I care about, including the two of you?" I retaliate, stubbornly.

"Elena, if we can de-spell the moonstone," Stefan says. I was looking at Damon, while Stefan was talking, and he was staring back with disbelieving eyes. Why does he expect me to be okay with putting everyone that I love in danger? Then my gaze shifts back over to Stefan. "We can save your life." Stefan adds.

"I know… everybody keeps saying that." I say, sightly frustrated before getting up and leaving. My mind can't handle this conversation right now, especially when all that they're worried about is me. Also, with what I plan to do, it really makes me confused, however I'm not backing away from my plan. It has to happen. I sit in my room and wait for both Stefan and Damon to leave, which luckily for me, doesn't take too much time. When I'm sure that they're far away, I head over to their house. Once I reach the door, I open it and make my way inside.

"It's not nice to leave a girl naked so early in the morning." I hear Rose say and I turn my head to see Rose in a robe. She was tying the robe and once she sees me, all she says is, "Woa… sorry I thought you were…" She draws and I feel something weird form in the pit of my stomach. Damon. She thought I was Damon.

"I, uh, sorry, I…" I sutter nervously. Why do I always have to be at the wrong place at the wrong time? First Aunt Jenna and Rick, now Rose? God, kill me.

"There is no one else here." She says, assuming that I was here for Stefan or Damon.

"Actually, I came to talk to you." I reply shyly.

"Then I should probably get dressed." She says and I nod. I wait for her in the living room until she gets downstairs. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?" She asks, leaning over one of the chairs.

"Stefan once told me about your friend, Slater, and all of the intell he had for him earlier, so I figured that maybe you could take me over to where he lives and I could gather some more intel." I explain and she scoffs at my plan.

"It's a bad idea."

"No, it's not." I retaliate. "From what Stefan told me, your friend, Slater, obviously has more information about Klaus… and you and Damon just gave up before you got it." The last part was a personal jeer, but I didn't care.

"Because somebody blew up a coffee shop with us in it." Rose says, but my expression doesn't waver.

"There's more to learn… we just have to find a way to learn it."

"Why are you coming to me with this?"

"Because you owe word from me, and Damon and Stefan could've killed you for kidnapping me."

"Or maybe it's because you know that they wouldn't want you doing this… and their moonstone caper gives you a chance to sneak away."

"We're having a disagreement, okay? They're willing to risk everyone that I love and I'm not." I admit to her, trying to make her understand where I'm coming from so that she'll follow through with my request.

"They're trying to protect you."

"And you've proven that you couldn't care less whether I'm protected or not… so we're back to you taking me to Slater." I say and Rose comes and sits down next to me.

"What exactly do you hope to achieve by this?"

"How would you like to be able to walk during the daylight?" I ask her and her expression changes.

"I've been a slave to the shadows for over 500 years, what do you think?" Perfect, I've gotten her attention. Maybe now she'll reconsider.

"I think… I've got a witch who's willing to do whatever it takes to help, if you're willing to make a deal." I say and her expression is one of shock.

.

.

.

Let's just say that offering her to get a daylight ring was more than enough to convince her to take me to Slater's apartment, and the next thing I knew I was walking up the stairs to his apartment, led by Rose. Once we reach the door I gesture for Rose to know on the door, and hesitantly she knocks on it.

"Slater!" She calls out, "Slater, it's Rose, open up!" She adds, but there's no response. "He's not here, sorry." Rose says, more than willing to head back, but I'm not going to give up so easily.

"No, we didn't come all the way out here for nothing." I say and then gesture for her to open the door. She sighs before eventually opening it with one push.

"After you." She says and I walk inside, glancing around at the surroundings. "Slater?" I hear Rose ask, while walking past me. I'm still looking around at the apartment when I hear Rose added, "I don't think he's going to be much help." Her expression says it all. No. I ran over to where she's at and I look in the direction that she is to validate what she just stumbled upon. Damn it. I see Slater's mangled up dead body on the floor. After a little bit, Rose drags his body out, and I run a hand through my hair in a frustrated gesture. Once I've regained my composure I head over to his desk and pick up some papers beside his computer.

While I'm looking through the papers I say, "Looks like whoever blew up the coffee shop, found him and killed him for information."

"Yeah, probably to stop him from helping people like us… the guy was a vampire almonac… knowing too much information just bit him in the ass." Rose replies as I was continuing my search through the papers in an attempt to find something useful. Rose then walks over to the curtains and begins to pull them apart.

"What are you-"

"Tempered glass… U.V. rays can't penetrate." She explains and I sigh. I thought for a second that she might've wanted to kill herself, luckily that wasn't the case. "I used to come here all the time and watch the day." She adds and I feel a pang of sympathy hit my chest as I held a picture of Rose and Slater smiling in a photo together. I never really thought about if she cared for Slater.

"I'm sorry about Slater." I say, honestly. I didn't know if she needed consoling or not, since she guards her emotions well.

She just turns to me and asks, "Any luck?"

"Um…" I start before turning on the computer. "It's password protected. I can't get in." I finish, glancing at the lock screen.

"No this is fine. Let's just go." Rose says, but we hear the doorknob rattles. "Stay here." She tells me warningly as she approaches. When she opens the door her eyes go wide and she asks, "Alice?" I see a crying woman in a dress run up and hug Rose tightly.

"He's dead!" She cries in agony, continuing to cling onto Rose. I get a bit of information about the girl from Rose. Apparently, Slater was her boyfriend, so I felt bad for her. Wanting to help, I went over to the kitchen and began to make some tea for her. While I'm pouring it, I hear Rose come up from behind me.

"She found him a few minutes before we did." She informs me, getting into my view.

"How is she?" I ask, concerned. I would be broken if I saw Stefan dead, so I couldn't help but feel bad for her.

"Overreacting… big time." Rose says and my brows furrow at her statement.

"Her boyfriend just died, there's no such thing as overreacting." I scold her.

"Those tears are for her. She didn't care about Slater. She was only dating him long enough to see if he'd turn her." Rose informs me and I sigh. I can't understand why anyone would even seek out to be a vampire. I take a cup of tea and walk over to Alice. I hand her it and she looks at me weirdly.

"Thank you… you look familiar. Did you know, Slater?" She asks me curiously.

"Not personally, no." I tell her, "I just knew that he kept detailed records with all of his vampire contacts, and I was hoping that he could point me towards, Klaus." I tell her, just to see if she has any information on the matter.

"Doubtful… Klaus doesn't want to be pointed out."

"Do you know Slater's computer password?" I ask.

"Are you seriously asking me that right now? I just saw my boyfriend with a stake through his heart." She spits at me.

"I understand that… do you know his password?" I pry once more.

"Who do you think you are?" She asks before drinking the tea.I Look up at Rose and then turn my attention back to Alice.

"What if I could convince Rose to turn you?" I ask and Alice's expression changed to one of intrigue. "Will you show us his files then?" She nods before signing into his computer.

"His hard drive's completely wiped out." Alice says.

"Yeah, probably whoever killed him." Rose chides in.

"Luckily for you, Slater was paranoid… everything's backed up on our remote server." Alice says before typing on the computer again.

Rose leans close to me and whispers, "You know she's not going anywhere near my blood, right?"

"I know, she doesn't." I reply in a whisper.

"Kristian Stewart? God was he obvious." Alice says referring to the file name where he backed up everything. I could practically hear her eyes rolling from where I was standing. Did she seriously not love Slater at all?

I see her scrolling through a giant list of names and my eyes widen. "These are all links to vampires?" I ask shocked at the sheer number of names and contacts he had.

"Slater was obsessed. Almost as much as me." She replies with a shrug.

"What about that one." Rose says, "Kody Webber. We exchanged dozens of emails about Elijah."

"I could call him." Alice replies once she has looked through everything in his individual file.

"Tell him that we're trying to send a message to Klaus, 'The doppelganger is alive, and she's ready to surrender'." I say to her.

"What?" Rose asks, shocked at what I've just said.

"Oh my god, I knew I recognized you!" Alice says in awe.

"Get him the message, please." I tell her before walking away.

"What are you doing?" I hear Rose ask from behind me.

"I'm getting Klaus' attention."

"If Klaus knows that you're alive, he'll find you and he'll kill you." Rose says before finally realizing. "Which is exactly what you wanted all along."

"It's either me or my family."

"So this whole charade was a suicide mission, so you could sacrafice yoursel and save everyone else?" Rose asks in disbelief. The soft patter of heels takes my attention off Rose and towards Alice.

"Cody is on his way and he really wants to meet you." She says. Rose gives me a look, but I don't think much of it and I wait for Cody to come. I'm currently drinking water, and when I turn around there's someone there, and I gasped.

"What are you doing here?" I hear him say, and I realize that it's Damon standing right in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask back, shocked. I turn to look at Rose and ask, "You called him?"

"I'm sorry, Elena."

"You said you understood."

"She lied." Damon says and I turn back toward him.

"Damon Salvatore." Alice says in awe, walking towards us.

"Get rid of her." He says to Rose, and she begins to take her away.

"No… way…" Alice says and Rose takes her to another room.

"Come on, we're leaving." He says to me.

"No." I reply, stubbornly.

"I said, we're leaving." He says, more insistently while getting closer.

"I'm not going with you."

"You don't get to make decisions anymore." He tells me, and I can tell that he's getting angrier. So was I.

"When have I ever made a decision. You and Stefan do that for me, now this, this is my decision." I tell him, trying to make him understand.

"Who's going to save you life while you're out making decisions?" He asks me.

"You're not listening, Damon. I don't want to be saved. Not if it means that Klaus if going to kill every single person that I love."

"Get your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself." He says and I glare at him. He grabs my arm, but I plant my feet.

"No." I grunt out. Want to punch him so bad, but something stops me. I can't hit someone who cares about me, something about that action felt so wrong. I close my eyes and sigh before placing my hand on his chest. "Damon, I can't just allow everyone that I love get hurt because of me, and I need you to understand that this is what I want." I plead with him.

"Well guess what, Elena. I don't care if it's what you want, because you are not going to die. Not because you want to, but because I am that selfish." He retaliates and I feel anger boiling in me once more.

"I thought that you wouldn't be selfish with me, Damon." I say without thinking and I immediately regret it. His gaze changes to one of confusion? Suspicion? Somewhere in between? I don't know, but what I knew for certain was that I shouldn't have said that. Although, just as soon as the expression etched across his face, it leaves just as quickly. Phew. He didn't look too much into it.

"Damon, Alice is currently in the bedroom. She becoming antsy over being turned. I need your help." Rose says after coming out of the bedroom. For the first time, Damon's gaze shifts from me.

"Fine, but after this we are leaving." He says sternly before following Rose in the bedroom. Sighing, I take a seat on the couch. I nearly blew my cover about knowing about his confession. I'm not ready to confront him about it, and I don't want to ruin this... kinda friendship. Soon Rose comes out of the room and takes a seat next to me.

"What's going on?" I ask her curiously.

"Nothing, Damon's just taking care of everything." She replies and I feel panic rise within me.

"He's not about to turn her, is he?" I ask seriously.

"Of course not, he's just finishing the compulsion." Rose replies and I relax once more. I softly tap my fingers on the leather couch as I wait for Damon to emerge from the room. I felt disappointed that I had no chance of completing my plan. The only thing that I could hope for, is that Cody shows up before Damon and I leave. Soon enough, the bedroom door opens and Damon walks out.

"Time to go. Alice is soundly sleeping and wont remember a moment of this horribly, stupid day." Damon says, but just as he finishes speaking the door opens and 3 guys, presumably vampires walk in. I feel my heart jump as I see them. I still have a chance! I get up instantly.

"We're here to meet the doppelganger." One of them says, and I can only assume that it's Cody.

"Thank you for coming." I say stepping forward, but Damon stops me from going further.

"I will break your arm." He says before returning his attention on Cody and his friends. "There's nothing here for you." He adds warningly to Cody. Just then I hear a swift crack and the guy at the back fall down dead. The worst part is that Elijah stands right behind him. We all are wide eyed in shock as he vamp speed's over to Cody and his friend. He glances between all of us, and Rose takes this as an opportunity to leave, and she speeds off. Elijah then looks at me and I feel anxious under his gaze.

"I killed you. You were dead." Damon says confusedly.

"For centuries now." He replies snarkily in his familiar british accent. "Who are you?" He asks Cody.

"Who are you?" He fires back, roughly.

"I'm Elijah." He replies and I see Cody's eyes widen.

"We were gonna bring her… for Klaus. She's the doppelganger. I don't know how she exists, but she does… Klaus would want to see her." Cody explains to him and Elijah's expression doesn't change.

"Does anyone else know that you're here?" He asks, looking directly at me, but the question was targeted towards Cody.

"No." He replies.

Then, Elijah's gaze is off me and is now alternating between the two guys next to him. "Well then you have been, very helpful." He says right before ripping out their hearts and tossing them to the ground like it was nothing. Damon takes another step in front of me in a defensive stance, however Elijah just leaves. Damon glances to me with a confused expression and I'm just as confused, if not more.

"What just happened?" I ask, my brows knitted together in confusion.

"Believe me, I have no idea." Damon replies sounding just as confused. "Anyways, it's time for you to get home." Damon replies grabbing my arm and I pulled it out of him grasp.

"I can walk to the car myself. It's not like I can run away from you." I say frustratedly. I was mad at him for spoiling my plans, and being robbed of an opportunity to save my family. He just nods, and we walk silently over to his Camero. I get into the passenger's seat, and for the first half of the drive Damon and I don't talk at all, although I can feel his gaze on me.

"Are you alright?" Damon asked, breaking the silence. I'm almost shocked by the amount of concern in his voice.

"I'm fine." I replied softly. Any normal human wouldn't of heard it, but I knew Damon could, thanks to his enhanced hearing.

"You could've gotten hurt, and if that were to happen, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. You realize that, don't you?" He asks me seriously and I turn to look at him. He's also looking at me and his eyes are sincere.

"I'm sorry that you feel that way. It wasn't my intention to hurt you, but I'm not sorry for what I did." I reply and I hear Damon sigh.

"What about your family, what about how they would feel?"

"Hurt is better than dead." I reply, and Damon's now pulling into my driveway. We walk out of the car and I sigh. "Thank you for bringing me home." I add as we walk up the porch steps.

"Well, your ride left you and I didn't want to leave you stranded." He says before we reach the door.

Before I knock I say, "She was just scared… she didn't mean to run."

"Yes, she did. She's been running for 500 years."

"I can't believe Elijah's alive. Why do you think he killed those two vampires and just… let us go?" I ask, confused.

"If I had a dollar for every time some evil vampire surprises me." He replied and I just sigh. I step forward to go to the door, but Damon grabs my arm "What you did today was incredibly stupid." He scolded me.

"Actually the only thing that was stupid is that I got caught." I say slightly leaning forwards, before pulling away from him. "I don't question why you and Stefan and everyone else tries so hard to save me. You shouldn't question why I would try to save all of you." I add sternly. The door open and I whisper, "Damon, goodnight, okay?" We then both turned to see Jeremy standing in the doorway.

"What?" Damon asks him.

"Stefan...while I was retrieving the moonstone I got caught by Katherine, and Stefan went inside to save me." He says and my eyes widen.

"No." I say before covering my mouth. I then ran inside and get my keys from the counter. As I'm speeding past them I hear Damon.

"Elena, wait." He says, but I just continue moving and head inside my car before speeding over to the cave. As soon as I park my car I practically leap out of it and sprint through the forest until I finally find the cave. As I'm running up to it I call out to Stefan.

"Stefan. Stefan!" It's urgent cries, and I hope that he'll answer me. "STEFAN!" I scream before I'm thrown against the wall. I look up to see Damon pinning me to it.

"Don't you dare." He warns me dangerously.

"Stefan's in there, Damon, how could you let this happen?" She asks me angrily.

"What are you talking about? I was too busy saving you from your crazy kamikaze mission."

"You didn't even have to go after the moonstone in the first place."

"It was the right call." Right call? That statement alone made my blood boil.

"Right call?! How is any of this the right call?! Damon let go of me! Damon let go of me! Let go of me! Let go of me… please." I yell and by the end of it, I'm panting.

"You done?' He asks and I catch my breath, he then let's go and after a second I attempt to move past him, but he holds a finger up and moves in my way. Angrily, I leave the cave.I'm tempted to turn back and try all night to get in, but I know that there's no going past Damon. At least not tonight. I'll try tomorrow though for sure, even if it takes everything I've got.

.

.

.

**(Damon's POV:)**

After leaving the cave I had to make sure that Elena stayed in bed all night. After all, I did just promise Stefan that I'd keep her away and safe. I now found myself in the tree next to her window. I watch as Elena wrote in her diary and snuggled in her covers. It took about ten minutes before her heartbeat signified that she was asleep. I was contemplating whether to check or not. After that comment she said earlier about my promise not to be selfish with her, I've had my suspicions. I could just check in her diary if she somehow remembers my confession, however would that be an evasion of her privacy? I sigh and give into my curiosity. I slowly and quietly open the window to her bedroom and carefully get inside. I then take her diary from where it's hidden and go back several pages. I won't look at any other page, because I don't want to be too invasive. I just had to know whether or not she remembers my confession. I find the date and read the diary entry.

.

.

.

_Dear Diary, _

_What a day! I woke up to find myself in this weird mansion with people, or I should say vampires that I didn't recognize. They were named Rose and Trevor. They appeared to be working for someone, who when he came, took Trevor's head off with one blow! I was petrified and they all seemed so captivated by me. I learned that the boss guy's name was, Elijah, and that he is an original vampire. He compelled me and he seems to want something with me. Luckily, Stefan and Damon came before I got too hurt and Damon was able to kill him. I was so relieved to have them by my side once more. I always felt so safe around them. I wanted to hug both of them, however, Stefan was closer and all I could give Damon was a small nod and a thank you. I feel bad for it now, he definitely deserves a hug… although one last thing happened this night. I drank some tea with vervain in it just in case something happened and when I was about to go to bed, Damon was there. He told me that he loved me, but that he couldn't be selfish with me and that he didn't deserve me. He also said that Stefan did… he's willing to watch me be happy with Stefan even if it means that he's suffering? I… I don't even know what to think of it… what to think of him… what to feel… how to feel. Gosh, everything is so confusing. All I can do is hope that I won't have to see him tomorrow, so that I don't die of being flustered. Knowing my luck I will. Until then. _

_Love,_

_Elena_

I was silent looking at the entry beneath me. How was I supposed to react. Shocked? Scared? Antsy? My heart feels like it's about to pound out of my chest. Elena knows. She knows how I feel, and I have nothing to do about it. I've never felt so naked around someone… I knew I shouldn't of bored my heart out to her. I knew that something like this would happen. If only I had been smarter.

I glanced down at the sleeping figure and my thoughts all stop simultaneously. She's beautiful when she sleeps. Her lips slightly parted, a soft smile displayed on her lips. Her face relaxed, I couldn't help but to stroke some of her chocolate locks out of her face and softly caress her cheek with the pad of my thumb. If only I could do this while she was awake. If only I could hold and cherish her. If only I could love her. But what twisted world would that be? A world where I got the girl? Impossible.

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**A/N: Did you all enjoy this chapter? I hope you all did and I'm excited to hear what you all think about this story. I've been working extremely hard on it, trying to keep consistent uploads while also producing good content. Anyways, I hope you all have amazing days and nights! XOXO**


	3. Blue

Deserving Me

**AU: What if Elena didn't forget her encounter with Damon 2x08? How would this change things, and will it give her a new perspective on him? Cannon universe until after the encounter. **

**Note: Just so that you all know, I plan on making this a slow burning fanfiction, similar to how it is in the actual show. The whole purpose of this fanfiction is to take the cannon series but add one small detail, and see how it changed everything. **

**Chapter 3: Blue**

_Dear Diary,_

_I woke up early the next morning, more determined than ever to leave and find Stefan. I got ready at record time, and I headed downstairs, however Bonnie and everyone else was already awake. Bonnie had casted a spell to keep me locked inside the house, and later Rick came to explain everything to me. I felt like a prisoner in my own home, and I was growing more and more anxious as the day went on. I stayed upstairs most of the day until Aunt Jenna called me down to move boxes, however Elijah was there too. He told me that he wouldn't take me to Klaus because he doesn't want the curse to be broken. He explained that he'd keep me and my friends safe and that he'd kill Klaus. I told him that I'd go along with the deal just as long as he freed Stefan from the tomb. I don't know whether or not to believe him, because he seems like an honorable man, however I don't know him. After he left it was evening in no time, and I had been sitting upstairs on my window seat for most of the time, that is until I saw Stefan's reflection in the window. I felt so relieved to see him and I explained everything that Elijah had planned. Today has been a wonderful day, and for the first time I feel hopeful. The only issue is that I haven't seen Damon at all today. I wonder what's wrong. Perhaps he's still mad at me for trying to give myself up to Klaus yesterday. I wouldn't blame him. I guess we'll see how things turn out tomorrow, until then. _

_Love,_

_Elena_

_._

_._

_._

I'm currently in the boarding house looking for Stefan, and when he wasn't at the door, I invited myself in and went up into his room. "Stefan?" I ask as I walk inside. I take a couple more steps inside and look around. He's nowhere in sight. "Stefan?" I ask once more while glancing around in front of me. "You're standing right behind me, aren't you?" I ask, almost as if it's a statement.

"Yup." I hear him reply, I turn around and see him standing there, shirtless. I smile and kiss him tenderly. "Good morning." He says in a gleeful tone.

"I don't want us to be apart anymore...never." I say gazing into him eyes. It felt like torture when he was trapped in that tomb with Katherine. It makes me sick to my stomach.

"Me neither...but-"

"Don't ruin the moment." I add before kissing him once more.

Once we separate Stefan says, "Uhh…"

"You're about to ruin the moment, aren't you?"

"I'm totally ruining the moment, but I can't just pretend that everything's okay." He replies seriously.

"Katherine's locked away in a tomb." I say before walking over to his desk.

"I know, but we still have this… pressing little issue of you being Klaus's human sacrifice."

"Yes, but Elijah promised to keep me and everyone else safe as long as we played by his rules." I reply while grabbing a vile of vervain.

"Right, as long as you played by his rules." He adds while I pour the vile inside a glass.

"Please don't go after Isobel." I say, almost as if it's a fact that no one should go near her.

"Katherine said that Isobel could have some answers and I just… have a couple questions. That's all." He says as I pour some alcohol into the glass where I poured in the contents of the vile.

"Stefan, I made a deal with Elijah." I tell him as I drink the glass.

"Right, you made a deal with him… I didn't make one; you should keep your deal." He tells me and I put the glass down.

"Stefan, I don't want anyone else to get hurt." I add walking closer to him and staring him directly in the eye.

"When have I ever wanted somebody to get hurt?" He asks and I sigh, still staring at him in the eye. My eyes pleading with his, trying to convince him not to follow through with finding Isobel. I then sigh before picking up the glass of the vervain alcohol mixture.

"Vervain… I made it light but are you sure? Just because Katherine built up a tolerance-"

"Yes." He interrupts, abruptly taking the glass from me and adding, "Bottom's up." He then takes a small sip, closing his eyes tightly as he gulps it down. I can tell it's painful for him, but if it's what he wants, I won't stop him. "Oh." He coughs. He's nearly gagging on the floor and I place a hand on his back for some emotional support. "Oh." He coughs once more, almost as if he wasn't expecting it to burn this much.

"You okay?" I ask as he gets up.

"Yeah." He says, returning to his normal posture.

"How can Elijah compel another vampire?" I ask, referring to when he told me that Elijah had compelled Katherine to stay in the tomb.

"He's an original. I don't really know what that means… I don't think anybody really knows what that means. Well… except maybe Isobel. I'll be sure to ask her." He replies and I'm about to reply, but he kisses me. I just stare at him as he exits the room. I stay with him as he gets ready to leave and I sit in his room for a little while after until I get curious about Damon. I begin to walk over to his room and stop at his doorway, listening to a bit of the conversation.

"How is it?" I hear Rose ask. I know she's referring to the werewolf bite, since Stfean told be about it before he left. There's silence for a little bit, presumably Damon looking over the wound.

"Uh… definitely.. B-better." He says, and by his voice I can tell he's lying. I convince myself to make my way inside. "Right, Elena?" He asks before I'm even visible to them. So he knew I was there the whole time. He then gestures his head for me to reply and Rose turns around. The wound looks awful. The skin looks as if it's almost molding and swollen and the indents of the bite is almost enough to make me light headed.

"Uhm… it's not bad." I say, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

"Where's Stefan?" He asks softly.

"He left." I reply while gesturing my hand to emphasize the fact. "I need you to talk with him. He's convinced that he needs to find, Isobel. I think that's gonna upset Elijah."

"No can do. I'm with Stefan on this one, but you can play nurse for a little while." He says walking closer and getting a couple of things from around the room.

Rose then turns back around while sipping some alcohol and says, "That's not necessary-"

"It is necessary. Elena's a do-gooder. It's in her nature, she just can't resist." Damon adds, walking out the door. I look at Rose for a second before following Damon out.

"Damon." I say, and he stops and turns around. "Is she gonna die?" I ask softly and he walks towards me.

"Probably." He says and I stare downward at the thought. Poor Rose. "The wolf bite caused some kind of infection; it's getting worse." He adds.

"Like poison?" I ask with my brows furrowed.

"I don't know, Elena. I'm not an expert in the field." He says, holding his arms outward and I feel sorrow fill my gut.

"I'm sorry-"

"Death happens. We come, we go. The sooner she dies, the better." He says and I furrow my brow at his statement. Did he honestly believe that? "It's gloomy down here." He adds in barely a whisper. I sigh as I watch him leave. I knew that he didn't actually mean what he said about Rose, but nonetheless it still has shaken me. Although, he told me to look after Rose, so that what I'm going to do. I help Rose for a bit, until she'd grown weaker and I transfer her to Damon's bed.

"Just get in bed." I say, while taking off her cardigan.

"We don't get sick, when we die it's fast and sudden and it's certainly not drawn out with an illness." Rose says before getting under the sheets. She sighs as she lays down and I feel like I have to give her something to hold onto.

"You're not gonna die." I say while tucking her inside the sheets.

"Such a human thing to say." Rose replies and I look at her. Her skin pale and she looks incredibly tired. I then for the first time look around in Damon's room. It's only then that I realize that I've never been here before, and I find myself looking at everything within it. I glance behind me and see a giant bathroom with a huge tub that even I'm tempted to get into. "You've never been in Damon's room before, have you?" She asks and I look up at the room once more. I picked up a book that was in one of the stacks next to his bed, 'Gone With the Wind,' the title says and I scoff, surprised that Damon above all people would read that book. "Not what you expected?" Rose questions once more and I shake my head, 'no'.

"It's just a room with a bed." I say before sitting on top of the bed. I feel the soft cotton fabric underneath my fingertips and furrow my brows. "Maybe I expected there to be silk sheets." I joke, honestly and even Rose smiles a bit.

"You're lucky you know… no one's ever loved me the way he loves you." Rose says softly and I feel my stomach flip at the words. It took me back to the confession and I bite my lip softly.

"I doubt it."

"Trevor was my best friend, nothing more. I spent all those years on the run from Elijah, I just never thought it was a good idea to set up roots." She tells me and I feel sympathy for her. "How having a lot of family is not exactly compatible, think about why." Rose adds and I take a deep breath before turning around and grabbing a cup filled with blood. "Why are you so eager to give up?" She asks.

"I'm not giving up on anything here." I reply before giving her the cup. He takes a drink of it, and I genuinely hope it helps her.

Rose then places the drink down before adding, "What do you call this whole deal with Elijah?" She asks.

"I call it my best option-"

"It's your easiest option." She interrupts and I simply just look at her.

"That's not fair." I reply. My other options involve endangering my life or my family's life.

"Do you really think that your witch friend destroyed the moonstone?"

"I spoke with Bonnie and I know that she had the help of another witch… I'm assuming it's Elijah's, so no, I don't." I reply honestly.

"You really are determined to die… aren't you?" She asks, staring up at me. "At least I ran my life trying." She adds before snuggling into the blankets. I take the glass off the bed and stand up, walking away. "No, stop, wait… tell them to prepare the horses." She says and I know that she's beginning to hallucinate.

"It's okay, Rose… just get some sleep, you'll feel better when you wake up-"

"Trever don't be so stupid… we're never gonna make it there before the Sun-" She then jolts up with a slight groan of pain. "Elena. Elena I need more blood." She said, her voice etched with pain and distress.

"Yeah, of course here." I say while moving to get the cup and handing it to her. She takes a large gulp before violently coughing blood all over the sheets. I move over to the bathroom to wet a towel, however when I enter the room, Rose is no longer on the bed. I furrow my brows and turn around only to see her standing directly behind me. She speeds me over and against the bedroom door hard and I scream.

"You Katarina, you did this." She spits angrily at me, her face contorted into it's vampire form.

"It's Elena Rose! Rose, I'm Elena. I'm not Katherine!" I yelled while she's yelling at me. She freezes and her vampire features leave her face. Her eyes widen and she lets go of me.

"Elena?" She asks, still in shock.I let out shorts panicked breath, trying to calm myself down a bit.

"It's me, it's Elena." I say quietly while still taking frantic breaths.

"Oh my god, Elena I'm so sorry. I don't know what's happening to me-"

"It's alright y-y-you're gonna be alright." I stutter.

"My mind… I'm…" Rose says, placing a hand on her forehead while I walk her over to the bed.

"It was just for a second-"

"I'm sorry, don't be scared of me-"

"I'm not… not, but… you need to rest." I say, while she gets back onto the bed and under the sheets.

"I'm scared." Rose says, and I feel awful about everything that she's going through. It must be awful to be sick and out of control with your mind and body.

"You're not alone… I'm right here." I tell her standing right next to her beside the bed.

"Yeah, where's here?" She asks, sitting up in bed, but I gently push her back down.

"Damon's bedroom, you're in Damon's bedroom." I say and she starts to breath heavily and tears start to brim her eyes.

"I want to go home." She says, with genuine sadness and fear in her eyes. I can't help but have my heart break at her words. No one deserved this, sure I didn't know Rose very well, but I knew enough about her to know that she didn't deserve to die the worst fate I've seen yet.

"Tell me about it." I say, trying to get her to think about something that made her happy. I see her relax slightly and her breathing become less frantic.

"30 kilometers south of London all fields and trees and horses." She says and I lean in closer to her to help support her.

"That sounds beautiful." I whisper softly.

"Well, when you live long enough, everything disappears. So much time wasted, I just wish I hadn't been so afraid." She says softly and my brows furrow at her statement. For the first time I felt truly inspired and impacted by what she just said. She was too afraid to do what made her happy. Soon she's back asleep, and I stay by her side a little longer just to make sure that she is okay. I end up spending more time taking care of her, and then I realize that she coughed up blood on the sheets earlier, and I decided that it was best to go change them out.

"I've brought some clean sheets." I say as I enter the room again and shut the door behind me. I pause when I see that Rose is no longer in bed once again, and I feel my heart rate accelerate. I walk over and look inside the bathroom. She's not in there. I place the sheets and the bed and turn back around, then exit the room. I turn the corner and walk inside the library to retrieve my phone from my bag. I dial Damon's number, and when he doesn't answer I send a voicemail. "It's Elena, I'm worried about, Rose. I think you should come home." I feel uneasy, not only because Rose is gone, but because it's stormy as well. "Rose?" I call out, hoping that she was just wandering the house. I turn off the phone and walk towards where I thought I heard a sound I walk over into a hallway and see a drained blood bag. I hear sounds coming from down in the cellar and see Rose surrounded by other drained blood bags, and she was currently in the middle of finishing one. When she sees me she pauses and drops the blood bag.

"Katerina." She says with a snarl.

"No." I say before running upstairs and blocking the way with an old door. When I make it back up I try to open a door, but Rose follows shortly after. I hold my hand out and say, "Rose stop, it's Elena." She stops and I also stop. "I'm not, Katherine… you're hallucinating. I'm not Katherine." I say and her face returns to normal, only to immediately contort back and she snarls, pouncing towards me. She lands on top of me and I scream. I then desperately reach for the curtain and when it's in my hands I yanked it hard enough that it opens. She screams in pain, scattering over to a corner to evade the light. I then sprint out of the room and to the front door. Rose grabs me from behind, so I dig my fingernails into her bite wound and she collapses in pain before I run once more. I ran into a room upstairs, close the door, lock it, and block it with a dresser. I then open the curtains and go onto the balcony. No one's here yet, so I ran back into the room. I broke a chair and make a stake out of the broken leg of the chair. The doorknob rattles and I gasp in surprise.

"Elena. I know that's you and not, Katherine." I hear Rose say on the other side before coughing violently. "Elena, please I need your help." She says, and I'm just looking around. I can't trust that. I stay inside the room sitting with the stake, waiting for Damon to show up. I think everything over for a couple of seconds before I slowly approach the door with stake in hand and hesitantly move the dresser out of the way. I then unlock the door and open the door. I walk downstairs and throughout the house slowly and carefully, not wanting to get attacked by Rose. I notice that the front door is open and that it's currently night. This is not good. I hear a noise behind me and abruptly turned around only to see Damon standing there, and relief floods through me upon seeing him.

"Are you okay?" He asks, and then he notices that I'm holding a stake and looks around me before adding, "Where's Rose?" I run my fingers through my hair and shake my head.

"I don't know." Is all I can say, and his gaze turns more worried.

.

.

.

By then, we've practically searched the whole town, and I was checking if there were any recent attacks on my phone as I stood in the middle of town square. I couldn't stop my mind from going back to Stefan though because I didn't exactly trust Isobel all that much. I turn and see Damon and approach him. "Hey, have you heard from him. Do you know what he's up to?" I ask worriedly.

"Baby brother's not exactly my priority right now. Take this." He says before handing me a stake. "Come on." He adds before taking my arm and leading me away from the crowd. That's when we hear screaming and Damon and I head over to see Rose tearing some poor girls neck out. "Rose, stop!" Damon yells. She comes after Damon but he is her. He's able to because she's weak from the bite and he adds, "Rose. Rose! It's me. It's Damon." He says and her face returns to normal. "It's Damon." He repeats softly and Rose looks over to see the girl that she just killed.

"Did I do this? No, I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I never wanted to hurt anybody." She cries before turning to me. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She cries and once again I feel my heart break. Rose is just a broken girl who needs help.

"Okay, imma get you home." Damon says before picking her up.

"No, I don't have a home. I haven't had one for a long time." Rose cries, refusing to get up. "Oh, make it stop, please make it stop." She cries before Damn picks her up. He takes us both back to the boarding house, making sure to keep an eye on Rose. When we get back Damon takes Rose to his room and I only hear a bit of their conversation before I enter. "I'm sorry, Elena." Rose says, once she sees me and Damon turns towards me. "I don't like taking human life, I have never have." She adds.

"You shouldn't be here." Damon tells me, almost coldly and I swallow hard at the tone. He then walks away from the bed and I approach Rose.

"Damon's a lot like me. He wants to care, but when he does he runs away from it." She tells me and I look downwards at the statement. I can't think much into it before she's yelping in pain once more.

"What do we do?" I ask nervously towards Damon.

"Go." He tells me before getting onto the bed with her head on his lap. She still thrashing in pain.

"Damon-"

"Just go. I've got this." He interrupts and I leave. I had to go all the way to the living room to escape her cries of pain and I sit on the couch. Holding my legs to my body while breathing heavily. I feel myself beginning to cry, and I let out all of the emotions i've kept inside all day. Greif, fear, pain, frustration, sadness… everything is all hitting me at once and I feel myself breaking. When I hear footsteps coming my way I compose myself and stand up. I see Damon enter the room, his expression blank.

"What happened? Is everything okay?" I ask him with my brows furrowed.

"Elena. I don't want to talk right now, so could you please just leave." Damon says and I feel my heart drop at his words.

"Does that mean that Rose is-"

"Yes, she's gone, now please, Elena. Just go." Damon replies urgently.

"Damon-"

"Leave!" He yells and I flinch slightly. I can tell that he's upset, but I understand that he doesn't want me here right now, so I leave the boarding house. When I arrive back home I run upstairs to Jeremy's room and sigh when I see that he's safe.

"Elena, is something wrong?" He asks and I just sigh.

"No, I just got worried since a lot happened throughout the day. I'm just glad to see you here." I tell him with a soft smile, and then my thoughts go back to Damon and how he's probably feeling about Rose. Even though he said that he didn't want me there, I feel obligated to make sure that he's okay. "Imma go real quick. Okay, Jer'?" I ask and his eyebrows furrow at the statement.

"But you just got here. Why are you leaving again?"

"I have to make sure that a friends okay, you understand, right?" I ask him and he nods.

"Goodnight, Elena." He tells me.

"Night." I reply before exiting his room. I also said goodbye to Jenna who is on the couch with Rick watching some movies. I then make my way back to the boarding house, and to my surprise, Damon isn't there. He must've left to go to talk Stefan or something along those lines. Nonetheless, I still stay there and wait for Damon to arrive back home.

.

.

.

I'm sitting on the couch when I hear the door open and I stand abruptly. "You were supposed to leave." Damon says walking towards me.

"I did." I say before picking up a drink with alcohol and adding, "But then I came back to make sure that you were okay." I add holding up the glass for him.

He takes the glass from me and says, "I appreciate the gesture, I'm just glad it's over." Before taking a gulp of the alcohol. His voice sounded so tense and stressed that I felt even more obliged to help him through this.

"You know I don't believe that." I say referring to him saying that he's glad that it's over. I knew that he cared about Rose, otherwise he wouldn't be this tense.

"Go home, Elena. Get some rest. It's a whole new day tomorrow." He tells me, his voice getting more upset. I can't just let me avoid these issues anymore though.

"Damon I'm your friend-"

"I'm well aware of that." He interrupts and I feel bad for using that word. It must hurt him because he loves me, so I take a ragged breath before continuing.

"All I'm saying is that I know that you're hurting." I say with a sympathetic gaze.

"What do you want to hear? That I cared about Rose? That I'm upset? Well I didn't and I'm not." He replies, but his voice and eyes betray his words completely.

"There you go, pretending to turn it off, pretending not to feel." I say and he turns towards me with a pained expression. "Damon, your so close, don't give up."

"I feel, Elena, okay? And it sucks… what sucks even more that it was supposed to be me. Jules was coming after me." He says and I finally realize why he so upset. Not just because he lost a friend, but he feels as if it's entirely his fault.

"You feel guilty." I say softly and he walks closer to me.

"That would be human of me, wouldn't it, Elena, and I am not human. You're the one to talk about giving up. It's all you've done is give up." He says frustratedly and I tilt my head slightly to the side. "Go home." He adds pointing towards the door. "There's been enough doom, gloom, and personal growth for one night." He finished and I nod. He gestures his head for me to leave and I grab my bag.

"Okay, I will." I reply, softly. I then look at him and see him cracking slightly which causes me to pause before wrapping my arms around him tightly. I hold onto him for awhile allowing him to relax, and hope that I console him slightly. I close my eyes and take in the feelings although a faint voice in my head plays in my head the confession again. 'I love you, Elena.' I hear softly and I feel tears come down as I hold him tighter. It's only then that I realized that this hug isn't just for Damon, but it's also for me. When I pull back I fell more tears start to swell up in my eyes and I softly kissed his cheek. It was a 'thank you', and a, 'I'm here for you,' type action. He leaned into me slightly when I did it and when I pulled back I said softly, "Goodnight, Damon."

I'm about to leave when I hear Damon say, "I was scared, you know?"

I turn around, confused and say, "What?"

"When I figured out that you knew… I was scared." He says and I feel my breathing stop. He can't possibly be talking about the confession! Can he?

"W-what are you talking about?" I ask, more confused than ever.

"Oh, c'mon, Elena. You know what I'm talking about." He replies and my heart rate accelerates.

"What? H-how-"

"After that comment you made about my promise not to be selfish with you really grew my suspicions, not to mention how weird you were acting and how your heart went crazy everytime you were near me after the confession." He says and sign and close my eyes. When I open them, Damon is standing right in front of me and I gasped softly.

"I-I don't k-know what to say." I admit softly, gazing up at him and he just stared at me. His expression unreadable.

"Then don't talk." He whispers back, placing one of my hands on my waist and leaning forward slightly.

"Damon.. No." I say, but he stops, just resting his forehead against mine.

"How did you feel?" He asks me softly.

"W-what?" I stutter, my cheeks reddening at his close proximity.

"How did you feel when you hear my… confession?" he asks, opening his eyes, to where the only thing I can see is ocean blue eyes.

"I…" I start but then I stop, and look down, he then lifts my chin up, so I'm looking at him in the eye again. "Damon." I sigh, not knowing what else to say.

"Just be honest. How did you feel?" He asks closing his eyes and I could feel my head come back to me.

"At first I was sad. I was sad that you thought so lowly of yourself, I felt as if you deserve more than to just surrender to an unhappy life just watching Stefan and I. Then, I was angry. Angry that you'd try and take that away from me, and I was also angry at myself-"

"Why were you angry at yourself?" He asks and I sigh once more.

"I was angry for not seeing how incredible you were. I didn't truly open my mind to you until then, and I was angry at myself for being so small minded." I reply and he hums softly.

"What did you feel after the anger?" He asks and I feel my breathing hitch.

"Damon… I can't." I say, but he opens his eyes once more, draining all of my thoughts and just indulging in the only thing that existed, which was blue. Only blue. "I was happy." I say softly and I see his eyes widen.

"You were happy?" He asks, his brows furrowed.

"Yes." I push out closing my eyes shut tightly, trying to focus on anything else.

"Why?" I hear him ask and I opened my eyes once more. My eyes begging him not to make me answer this, but his eyes are pleading with mine as well. Seeking answers… looking for hope.

I take a deep breath before saying, "I was happy because you were by my side, and I knew that you truly cared… and a part of me-" I then stopped talking abruptly and bite my lip, stopping myself from continuing.

"A part of you what, Elena?" He asks and I just shake my head, keeping my eyes shut. "Look at me." He says softly and I let out a pained breath. Sooner or later I'd have to, but I knew that everytime I looked into his eyes, everything that I've kept inside, the best and worst parts of me. Everything wanted to come out, and I didn't want to feel that helpless just yet. "Please." I hear him beg softly and, reluctantly, I opened my eyes. Blue. Everything is blue.

blue….

blue….

Blue….

"A part of me wanted to give you everything back. All of the care and affection, all of the kindness and selflessness. A part of me wanted to love you." I whisper and I could hear Damon's breathing stop. His eyes trail downwards an I realize what they're looking at… my lips. He leans forward and I nearly choked. "No.. Damon… Stop… We can't" I say softly.

"Why not?" He asks me, looking at me directly in the eye. His eyes are hypnotizing me. Why shouldn't we? I ask myself before my conscious regains control. Because it's wrong!

"It's not right." I let out, barely a whisper, but he heard it and he pauses.

"It's right." He says and I feel my eyes widen. Is he about to… "Just not right now." He adds before backing away and I let out a breath I didn't realize that I was holding in. "Goodnight, Elena." He says before moving away, and I just stand there thinking. What just happened? Did I seriously almost kiss Damon? What was I thinking? Why am I so conflicted right now? Too many questions for that I don't have the answers to flood my mind, and to spare my sanity, I just leave as soon as possible. I rest my head on the driving wheel. This is all just too much. More than a thousand thoughts flood my mind all at once but the same thought stays in my subconscious. Never Changing. Everlasting. The only thing in the world that I am certain is 100% true in life. The only thing that can get me to be relaxed and stressed at the same time. The only thing that can truly make me reveal who I am.

.

.

.

Blue.

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**A/N: How did you all enjoy this chapter. I love writing the extra scenes, however it was hard to find all the dialogue, so bear with me. Please share your feedback over this chapter in the reviews and I'll be sure to look at them. Thank you all for the support and I can't wait to post another update! XOXO**


	4. The Better Man

Deserving Me

**AU:** What if Elena didn't forget her encounter with Damon 2x08? How would this change things, and will it give her a new perspective of him? Canon universe until after the encounter.

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own TVD or any of its characters or concepts; it belongs to its respective owners. Also there may be smut in the later chapters, but I will be placing a warning above each chapter that does contain anything controversial.

**Note:** I know that I haven't posted lately and I promise you that if you are a follower of my other story, that the next upload for that will be tomorrow, also I will try to upload more consistently and I thank everyone for their patience.

**Chapter 4: The Better Man**

I couldn't forget what happened and it kept me up all night. How am I supposed to act around Damon now? He knows that I know about the whole necklace situation and he almost kissed me. I have to tell him that that can never happen again. What made things worse was that John was here last night and he kept avoiding the topic. He's lucky that I wasn't in the proper state of mind to retaliate, and I just hope that he isn't here currently. After writing in my journal, I wasn't able to fall asleep until 3 AM.

The sound of my alarm clock at 9:00 was terrible after only getting 6 hours of sleep last night, but I had to endure it and get up. I put on a red short sleeved top with black jeans, and for my hair, I decide that I'll style it a little differently than I normally do and opt out for a high pony. I finish the look with some makeup before exiting my room.

It's safe to say that I was less than happy to see my Uncle, or technically father John, however I've never nor will I ever see him as a father. He's shown time and time again that he doesn't give two damns about me. As I walk into the kitchen, he turns off whatever was on the TV and continues chopping.

"Morning." He says to me and I stop walking, ending up right in front of him. I am more than prepared to confront him about what the heck he is doing at my house. He knows that he isn't welcome here.

"What are you doing here?" I ask bluntly, my tone slightly frustrated and partly annoyed.

"Coffee?" He offers, avoiding the question. I knew that he needs something from here. He wouldn't come here out of the goodness of his heart.

"We're not doing that, we did that last night, no more avoiding. Why are you here?" I ask, becoming more frustrated by the second. What bullshit excuse did he have up his sleeve.

"I'm here to protect you and that's all I can say for the moment." He replies which pushes me in the wrong way. Protect me? When has he ever cared about anything dealing with me?

"What do you mean, 'that's all you can say'?"

"I'll tell you more when I'm convinced I can trust you." He replies and I grit my teeth slightly at that comment.

When I'm about to reply I hear my Aunt Jenna say, "Oh God… I'm late." Jenna says placing her bag on the counter and moving through the kitchen she stops once she sees John. Her eyes widen and she pauses.

"That's what you get for hitting the snooze three times." I hear Alaric say while moving around the corner.

"What the hell?" She asks, referring to John.

"Good morning to you, Jenna… Alaric" John replies.

"It's okay that I'm confused, right? Because we weren't expecting you like… ever." Jenna reples annoyance clear in her tone.

"Well, I got in late last night. Elena let me in." John adds moving closer to Jenna.

"You know, I'm uh… probably just gonna take off." Alaric tells Jenna before leaving awkwardly, clearly wanting to evade this awkward conversation. I don't blame him either. If I were in his shoes, I'd probably do the same exact thing.

"I'm still confused here." Jenna says glancing between John and I.

"I decided to come back and stay for awhile." He says, and the angry look of Jenna's face is definitely one to remember.

"Not here you're not." She replies stubbornly.

"Actually, you can't stop me from living here." John says and my heart suddenly drops. Oh no… don't tell me he's about to say what I think he's going to…

"Actually, I can. As her legal guardian."

"Yeah… about that um… Elena? Do you want me to explain the situation or would you like to do the honors?" John asks and I feel my head racing. Damn it John. Why today? Why now?

"Okay, what's going on?" Jenna asks, becoming more confused and angry as time passes.

"I'm sorry, Jenna, I should've told you earlier but…" I say, but I'm not able to finish the sentence.

"I'm Elena's biological father." John says, letting out the big secret. Jenna looks at him skeptically for a second and I feel my air catch slightly "There, now you know." He adds before pushing past Jenna leaving me to deal with everything alone. Jenna then looks at me and scoffs after seeing my expression, confirming his statement.

"What?" She asks and I sigh.

"Look, Jenna… I can explain everything." I mutter and her face hardens from the confirmation.

"Sorry, Elena. I've got work." She spits out at me angrily and rushes past me in a huff.

"Jenna, wait!" I call out for her and grab her arm in an attempt to stop her, however she moves away from my grasp.

"Elena, I really just need some time to comprehend everything. We can talk later." She says and I can hear the betrayal in her voice. I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach, however I respect her need for space. I watch with tears in my eyes as she exits the room and leaves the house.

I take a seat on my couch and cry in my hands. I never meant to hurt Jenna and I just felt so guilty for never telling her. God, I'm a horrible niece. Why is it that when John comes into my life, he always messes up one more thing that ends up biting me in the ass.

When I lift my head from my hands I notice that my makeup is smudged and groaned. Great, now I have to redo everything. I quickly touch up the makeup and just when I finish I hear the doorbell ring. I furrow my brows, wondering who could be here at an hour like this and I go downstairs and open the door. Damon is standing there and I feel my breath hitch slightly and I avert my gaze on him.

"Elena…" He breathes out for a second before clearing his throat, "Where's John?" He asks more composed this time. As he asks the question he walks inside my house looking around for him.

"He's not here." I reply in a whisper, still not used to his presence. "He left. I don't know where he went and he just blew in, announced to Jenna that he's my dad and took off." I add, a little more relaxed.

"That's public knowledge now?" Damon asks, his brows furrowed.

"Apparently." I say, my eyes brimming with tears once more thinking about Jenna. There was also a little waver to my voice as I spoke. Damon notices my tone and walks towards me.

"You okay?" He asks, worry is laced in his voice. I pause for a second, urging the tears to not come out and once I feel a bit better I continue.

"Yeah, Jenna's head spinning but…" I trail off for a second. "I'm okay." I say, my voice is barely audible, but I know that he heard it.

"Did he say what he was doing here?" He asks.

"No, you know, Stefan thinks that he's telling the truth about wanting to help me." I say grabbing the mug that was on the counter. I placed it there earlier but never got around to drinking it, so I decided that it might help calm my nerves a bit.

"You believe him?" He asks once more and I have to think about it for a second. I love Stefan, but I don't agree with what he's doing right now with trusting John and seeing Isobel.

"No, I don't believe him for a second." I reply, placing the mug back down.

"I don't either." Damon admits and I sigh before walking closer to him. "What are we gonna do?" I ask seriously and I can see his gaze locked on me. It makes me nervous, but right now I can't focus on us… wait. There is no 'us'. Everything that happened was a mistake and I need to compose myself.

"Kill him." Damon replies which makes the whole forgetting everything between us easier. He moves past me and I turn around to him.

"Damon…" I draw, not knowing whether or not he was being serious.

"I'm joking…" He says and I sigh and look at him disbelievingly. "Okay, I'm a little serious."

"Damon!" I scold.

"I'm not gonna hurt him, Elena. I'm the good guy, remember?" He asks sarcastically and he moves closer to me. I fold my arms in front of me to give myself a little space and furrow my brows.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"It means I'm gonna have a civil conversation with your father." He replies and I think over everything he's said for a second.

"Wait, Damon.. Do you see being a good guy as being like Stefan?" I ask seriously and I watch as his expression turns blank.

"Isn't that what you want me to be, Elena? Stefan?" He spits out and I furrow my brows at the comment.

"Why would you think that, Damon? I'm not trying to change who you are." I tell him and he just stares at me blankly.

"But you want to change me into someone better?" He asks, raising his eyebrows and I open my mouth to speak before he begins again, interrupting me. "I can't talk about this right now. I'm just going to look for John." He moves past me in a huff and I think for a second.

"Wait, I'm coming with you." I say before grabbing my jacket and following him outside.

"That's not a good idea, Elena." He tells me while getting into his car. I also go into the passenger's seat.

"You're not stopping me though." I retaliate, buckling my seat belt.

"I don't have the energy to stop you, Elena. Just promise me that you'll be careful."

"He's my father, Damon. No matter what goes down he won't hurt me." I say and he starts to car.

"He's done it before." Damon reminds me and I cringe at the memory.

"Just go, Damon." I tell him and he sighs before driving out of my driveway and out into the town. I find my thoughts all over the place, some thinking about John. He has hurt me before, but does he actually want to protect me this time?

My other thoughts were about Damon. He thinks I want him to be like Stefan, which isn't true, but I don't know how to convince him that I don't want to change him. I'm just really confused with everything right now. Hopefully things will get better.

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.

.

It didn't take long before we found out that John was at the Grill.

"We just need answers, please don't do anything stupid." I tell Damon. Both of our eyes are on John who by now has also become aware of our presence.

"Yeah, but stupid's so much more fun." He replies looking over at me and I stare at him directly in the eye, pleading with him to be smart with his actions. He begins to move but I stop him.

"Damon, I mean it." I say quickly. I can't have him hurting John and doing something that could put us all at risk. "All I'm asking you to do is try to keep it together." I say, having to stop him from moving through my statement. "Be the better man." I tell him and he looks at me before sighing.

"Okay then." He says awkwardly before moving over to John. I sigh and move over to talk to this pretty blonde girl as I wait for Damon to finish talking to him. John leaves Damon for a bit and I watch as a pretty woman walks up to him. I feel my blood begin to boil slightly in the picture, however what surprises me is that Damon picks up his glass and goes away from the woman. Did he just reject someone? That isn't typically Damon fashion. I couldn't help but to feel slightly happy as he walks away from her and over to me.

"You totally blew her off." I say and he sighs, looking at me.

"We're steering clear of all women at the moment." He whispers at me and I feel my stomach drop. He didn't do it because of me… it's not like I'd want him to do it because of me. What am I thinking? I need to focus right now.

"You didn't have to be rude." Is all I can say without feeling awful. Why am I feeling like this?

"Trust me, it's in the best interest of women everywhere." He tells me before staring at me once again and I feel my cheeks burn up under his gaze. He looks at me up and down before taking a gulp of his drink. I assume it's whiskey or bourbon. I then hear my phone ring, breaking me from the trance before I pull it up to my ear and accept the call. I recognized the ringtone to be Stefan.

"Stefan?" I ask, wondering why he's calling.

"Elena, I wasn't sure earlier, but I'm almost certain that Tyler is a werewolf."

"Are you sure?" I ask, my eyes wide and Damon eyebrows furrow at my tone. Stefan told me about his suspicions that Tyler might be a werewolf, however he's only just confirmed it now.

"Yes, Tyler is a werewolf, and the other werewolves in the area including Jules, are wanting to recruit him. It gets worse though, they captured Caroline." Stefan tells me and I gasp slightly.

"W-what are we going to do?" I ask worriedly.

"For now, you need to stay home and stay safe, don't worry about anything. Damon and I will take care of everything." He says.

"Stefan-" I start trying to retaliate but he hangs up on me.

"What's going on?" Damon asks and I look at him, then all around us. There are too many people. I can't talk about this here. I then see a private bathroom.

"Follow me, we need to head somewhere private to talk about this." I say going into the bathroom. Damon follows me there.

"Okay, so will you tell me what's going on?" Damon asks once we are inside the bathroom and the door is shut.

I sigh before replying, "Stefan is almost certain that Tyler is a werewolf and the pack that attacked you and Rose has now kidnapped Caroline." I say and I watch as Damon's expression changes and my stomach drops. Please don't tell me that he'll go after Tyler.

"Why am I just finding out about this now?" He asks me, frustrated.

"Stefan was worried that you-"

"That I'd what? Kill him? Well, of course. That's what needs to happen." Damon says and I shake my head.

"No, Damon, not Tyler, do whatever you need to get Caroline back, but just leave Tyler out of it, okay?" I try to convince Damon.

"Why? He's a werewolf. He needs to die, I'm willing to kill. It's a win, win." Damon says and I place my hand on his shoulder.

"Damon, please… okay? Too many people are dead." I say, almost brokenly. My body has now relied just how close Damon was and I felt my breath hitch slightly. Since when did Damon affect me this much?

"Why do you expect me to push back everything I believe in just because it's you who's asking?" Damon asks softly.

"Why do you expect me to challenge everything that _I_ believe in because of you?" I fire back.

"It's not like I'm asking you to change everything about yourself!"

"For Christ sake, Damon! I'm not trying to change you, why can't you see that!?" I ask, tears threatening to come out.

"Then what are you trying to do, Elena." He replies and I sigh.

"I'm trying to allow you to see the best parts of yourself. You can be a good person while still being exactly who you are. That's what I want, Damon. I want you to be happy and yourself while also being the best version of yourself you can be. _That's _what I mean when I ask you to be the better man." I say in a whisper and I see Damon's gaze soften.

"Elena…" He says in a whisper and I feel his hand lay softly and hesitantly on my cheek. I close my eyes, letting a single tear out and can't help but melt into his touch. Every time I see him, I relive the confession over and over again and each time my heart swells more and more. Why is it affecting me so much? Why is he affecting me so much? I open my eyes to see Damon's face slightly closer to mine and much to both of our surprise I don't jump back or move away. "Do you really mean that?" He asks me, looking at my lips.

"Of course I do, Damon. I don't want to change everything about you." I say softly and I see his gaze soften as he leans in closer. I tense, but my body doesn't move. Push him back, step back, tell him no, do something! My mind screams at me, but I still don't move. Just when he's about to kiss me the door bursts open and Damon jumps away from me and I nearly sigh in relief. I turn around to see John looking between the two of us.

"What's going on here?" He asks, a protective tone is evident in his voice.

"Nothing." I say, mustering up as much courage as I could.

"It doesn't look like nothing." John fires back and Damon moves over to him.

"Well guess what John, trust works both ways, so get out." Damon fires at John.

"Look, we don't have time for this. We need to get Caroline back." I tell Damon.

"We don't need to do anything. I'll take care of it." Damon says before turning to John. "First dad duty, ground your daughter. Keep her here." Damon tells him before moving past him.

"I'm coming with you." I say to Damon and move, but John blocks my way.

"No. No. No. I'm with Damon on this one." He says and I grow more and more frustrated. I need to help Caroline!

"No-"

"Stop, stop! You aren't going anywhere. Just tell me what's going on." John says to me and I feel my face scrunch up with anger and disbelief.

"I'm not going to tell you anything!" I spit at him and he sighs.

"Look, Elena. I want to help you, just please tell me what's going on so that I can!" He says, trying to convince me and I cross my arms.

"Like you helped me before." I fire back at him and he cringes at my tone.

"Look, I know that I haven't been the best father-"

"That's an understatement."

"But I genuinely care about you and I want to help you, so please just tell me." He begs and I sigh.

"I won't tell you much, just that there are werewolves in town and that Caroline is in trouble. That's why Damon left and that's also why I need you to take me to help her." I say and he shakes his head.

"No, it's too dangerous." He tells me and I groan.

"I knew you wouldn't understand." I spit at him.

"Elena, even if I did take you to the location where Caroline was being held, what then? You'd only distract Stefan and Damon and jeopardize the mission, it's better that you don't go." He tells me and I feel tears forming in my eyes. He's right, but I want to help Caroline so badly. He tries to wrap his arms around me as an attempt to comfort me, however I just push him away.

"Just take me home." I say coldly and he nods.

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By now I've been waiting in my house for hours, I also haven't been able to stop myself from crying in worry for Caroline. John's stayed with me at the house as a way to make sure that I don't leave, so I have no way of being able to make sure that Caroline's okay. John gave me my mother's charm bracelet and told me that he only wants to protect me and that he'll do anything he can to help me.

"Elena." I hear Stefan's voice in the living room. I turn and immediately start walking towards him. As soon as I reach him I wrap my arms around him, seeking out comfort in him.

"Are you okay?" I ask worriedly.

"I'm fine." He replies, still holding me tight.

"Did you hear that?" I ask, referring to when John spoke to me. I feel Stefan nod and I continue, "I don't believe him, Stefan… I still don't." I say and pause for a second. Then I remember why he left in the first place. To help Caroline. "What happened today, how's Caroline?" I ask worriedly.

"I think that she could use your help." Stefan tells me and I grow more worried.

"What happened?" I ask, my brows furrowed.

"We got her out and she is fine physically, but I think right now she needs the support of a friend." Stefan tells me and I feel myself grow more sorry for Caroline. Nobody deserves to be kidnapped and tortured. "Now, I figured that I could get you and Bonnie to come over and you three can have a sleepover in order to comfort her." Stefan says and I smile at the thought. It's been forever since we've had a sleepover and I'm sure Caroline would love the gesture. I nod move upstairs to get everything I need.

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Stefan, Bonnie and I are all at Caroline's house, but in order to surprise Caroline we hide behind Stefan. He knocks on the door and Caroline opens it.

"What's going on?" She asks, confused as to why Stefan is here.

"I was a bit worried about you." Stefan starts "After everything you've been through tonight." He adds and Caroline sighs.

"I'm fine." She says, but I could hear in her voice that she was hurting.

"Good, but just in case, I have… brought some backup." He replies before turning, revealing Bonnie and I standing there.

"We're going to slumber it."I tell her and I could see the tears form in her eyes as she lets out a sob.

"We haven't done it in ages." Bonnie adds and we both move to hug her. She's now fully crying as we hold her tight. I glance up to see Stefan smiling and I mouth, 'thank you.'. He mouths, 'you're welcome.' before leaving and I return my attention back to hugging Caroline.

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**A/N:** Did you all enjoy this chapter. Please give me your feedback in reviews and once again I'm sorry for not uploading in a very long time. I hope to get back on track! Have wonderful evenings!


	5. Memories

Deserving Me

**AU:** What if Elena didn't forget her encounter with Damon 2x08? How would this change things, and will it give her a new perspective of him? Canon universe until after the encounter.

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own TVD or any of its characters or concepts; it belongs to its respective owners. Also there may be smut in the later chapters, but I will be placing a warning above each chapter that does contain anything controversial.

**Chapter 5: Memories**

**(Before we get into this chapter I just want to state something that changed in the story due to this slight AU. Damon didn't sleep with Andie in this story due to Elena's words in the previous chapter, so the scenes containing her at the begining wont be included. Also this chapter contains alcohol and references to sexual content).**

_ring..._

_Ring…_

Ring.

Ring!

I groan while flipping inside the cramped bed that I'm sharing with Bonnie and Caroline. When I move to answer the phone I fall straight onto the floor with a loud thud. All three of us are awake now as I crawl over to where my phone was placed.

I sigh before answering and ask, "Hello." I look back to see Caroline giving me the death glare.

"Elena!" She chastises me for waking them up. I just move to stand up.

"How was the slumber party?" Stefan asks me from the other side of the phone. I move outside the room before responding.

"Good… heh. Much needed. When can you and I have one?" I ask flirtatiously.

"Hmm… that can be arranged." He replies and I laugh slightly, a wide smile on my face. It's been awhile since I've been in a good mood and I'm reveling in it.

"Ok… now today… take me far, far away." I say, I sound like a naive princess from a fairy-tale, but I can't will myself to care. I need a vacation.

"Even with everything that's going on?" He asks, a bit confused which does drop my mood a bit thinking back on everything.

"Because of everything that's going on." I reply with a sigh. My mind goes to John and me still being suspicious with everything he's saying about wanting to protect me. I can't convince myself to believe him anymore.

"And you're sure it has nothing to do with dodging your father who just got into town?" He asks suspiciously which causes me to furrow my brows.

"Uh… this has everything to do with that." I reply and I hear him sigh softly.

"Well, in that case, where would you like to go?" He asks, causing me to smile again. The thought of escaping John and going on a vacation with Stefan sounds wonderful at this moment.

"I have a summer home that I used to go to with my family and I'd love to go there again." I say, images playing in my mind of when we used to all hang out together.

"Oh? How far is this so called, 'summer home'?" He asks and I can tell he's smiling by his tone of voice.

"Not too far, about fifteen minutes away on the edge of a beautiful lake." I say remembering all the sunsets and the sparking waters on the dock of the lake. Yeah… that's exactly where I'd like to go.

"And when would you like to go?" He asks and I'm about to answer with, 'as soon as possible' when I realize that I have to do something before we leave.

"Uhm… how about in two hours?" I ask. "You know… just to make sure Caroline is okay and all that." I add just in case he was about to question me.

"Alright, sounds good. I'll see you then." He says softly. "I love you." He adds sweetly which makes me blush softly.

"I love you too." I reply happily before ending the call. I turn around to see Bonnie and Caroline behind me with their arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. Well… this is going to be fun to explain to them…

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.

Luckily for me the confrontation of my two best friends didn't end too roughly and they were quite understanding of my need for a break. I changed into what I brought with me when I came on this sleepover with Caroline and quickly left her house to the boarding house. Why am I heading to the boarding house early? Well, let's just say I have to clear things up with a certain someone. When I arrive at the door, I'm about to knock when the door already begins to open and on the other side is Damon. When he sees me he looks shocked.

"Elena… you're definitely not who I was expecting." He says and I sigh while looking at him.

"I need to talk to you." I say, my gaze pleading with him to speak with me and I notice his jaw tighten and the internal conflict within his eyes.

"Sure… come right on in." He tells me, moving aside so I can come in.

"Is Stefan here?" I ask once I'm inside the living room. I turn around to see him looking at me, unsure of what I'm here for.

"No. He left to go hunting before you two go on your little romantic trip." He says and I cringe slightly by his slightly hurt tone. I'm hurting him by my recent actions and that's not acceptable.

"Good, I need to talk to you about whatever has been going on between us… it can't be like that." I tell him and I see his eyes break a bit more.

"I get it, Elena. It's always going to be Stefan." He tells me dismissively.

"It's not just for Stefan. I don't want to hurt you, Damon. It hurts to see that you're in pain and I don't want to do that to you anymore." I say and he sighs.

"I said that I got it, Elena. Please leave me alone." he says rather harshly to me and my gaze saddens and I step forward.

"Damon-"

"No, Elena. You don't get it. No matter what happens I'll still be the one who ends up hurt." He says and I try to press on again.

"Damon-"

"Well guess what Elena." He interrupts again while stepping forward. "You'll never stop hurting me and that's just cruel! I never asked for you to step into my life! I never asked the world to make me fall in love with you!" He yells and I feel anger boiling inside me.

"Well if you hate your love for me so much then why don't you just stop!" I shout back and immediately regret it. He just runs violently and moves to leave me. I move forward and grab his arm before adding. "Damon wait-"

He pushes his arm out of my grasp and replies, "No! I've had it with you giving me hope only to hurt me. I'm done with you dragging me along for your own selfish needs. You're no better than Katherine." He tells me coldly which causes tears to form within my eyes.

"I-is that what you really think?" I ask weakly. He just continues walking the other way.

"That's what I know." He spits before exiting the room before I collapse on the ground in sobs. Am I really just like Katherine to him. Is that how everyone sees me nowadays. Am I just some selfish brat who just drags people along? The sound of the door opening behind me causes me to turn in the direction of the door. I see Alaric standing there.

"Elena? Are you alright?" He asks me, walking over to me and kneeling beside me. He places a hand on my back for support as I wipe the tears from my face.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me." I tell him weakly before standing up.

"Did Damon have something to do with this?" He asks me with his brows furrowed. I tense before shaking my head.

"No, I was just having a bad morning. I'll see you later Ric'." I tell him before leaving in a hurry. Once I'm inside my car once more the tears start to flow again.

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**(Damon's POV:)**

Heat. That's all I could fear right now. Hot, burning rage… jealousy? I'm not sure. I'm pouring myself a drink when I see Alaric enter the room and pour another glass for him. I hand it to him and we both take a drink, however his eyes are staring daggers at me.

"Were you the reason I saw Elena crying on the floor just now?" He asks me which does give me a little guilt. Maybe I was too harsh with her, but I'm still mad so I just shrug.

"Eh, we fought. It's not like I care." I say. My face showed nothing but indifference. Alaric glares at me and I know that he's about to scold me.

"What exactly did you do to make her cry?" He asks frustratedly and I gulp for a second remembering what I had said to her, my guilt rising a bit more.

"I might have said that she was no better than Katherine." I say, a bit of shame etched into my voice and Alaric punches me in the arm.

"You're an asshole!" He yells at me and once again I put up my walls of indifference. He sighs before adding. "What did you even want to show me in the first place?" I moved over to the table where there was some tan cloth and pulled it off of the knife which it was covering.

"So, John Gilbert gave me this to kill, Elijah." I tell him and he looks at the knife with his brows furrowed in confusion and intrigue. "Said you had to dip the dagger in the remains of the old white ash tree that dates back to the originals… If there's any truth in that." I add picking up the life and handing it to him.

"So you think it's a setup?" He asks before taking the knife from me.

"Could be. Guy's a weasel. Wouldn't put anything past him." I reply. "What are you up to today, Mr. Salzman?" I add thinking over a plan that I have.

"Well, Jenna and I were supposed to go to her family's lake house, but somehow we both got roped into doing this historical society thing at the Lockwoods." He tells me and I internally cringe at the mention of the lake house knowing that Elena and Stefan were going to be going on a romantic getaway there.

"Where Elijah's the guest of honor." I add that last important detail. My plan to attempt to kill him distracts me from Elena which is what I desperately need right now.

"Tell me you're not gonna kill him at the tea party." Alaric sighs, his gaze pleading with me.

"No, that would be stupid." I say with a slight laugh yet Alaric's suspicious gaze doesn't falter. "I want to know his endgame before I kill him. But I do think it's time Elijah and I officially met." I add and he sighs before rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Fine, just promise me that you'll be careful and don't act out irrationally." He says to me holding the knife out to return it. I reach to grab it and he moves it out of my reach.

"Dude, come on." I say frustratedly.

"Promise me." He snips at me and I groan.

"Fine. I promise." I say before taking the knife from him and putting it back on the tan cloth. I pick up the class of whiskey that I left on the bar counter and pick it up. I'm definitely gonna need more of this if I want to last through this night.

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**(Elena's POV:)**

I'm now at my home with a bag of everything I need for this little trip with Stefan. I still feel a fit of guilt over what happened between Damon and me. I just wish that I could make him understand that I only have good intentions. Maybe I can never change the fact that he'll only see Katherine when he looks at me. I hear a knock at my door and put on my best smile, knowing that it's Stefan, before opening it.

"Are you ready for our romantic weekend?" He asks with a flirty tone to his voice.

"Beyond ready." I say with a slight laugh before grabbing my bag. "Let's go before John shows up and pretends to be a concerned father." I add with a less than happy tone.

"Mmm, I'll put these in the car." He says wanting to avoid this conversation due to the fact that he's actually trusting John right now. The vibration of my phone buzzing stops me from going with him to further this conversation and I check the message that was sent from Caroline.

'_Need to talk. Where are you?' _

I furrow my brows and begin to type a response. Is she alright?

'_Headed to the lakehouse w Stefan. U ok?' _

"Please tell me everything alright." Stefan says from the doorway and I glance at my phone once more.

'_All good, never mind. Have fun.' _

'_Xoxo'_

"Nothing's wrong. Just Caroline. Come on. Let's go." I say with a smile as we move out to the car.

**(Just in case any of you are curious, in this scene Tyler stole Caroline's phone to get Elena's location). **

**.**

**.**

**.**

When we pull up to the lakehouse I stop and stare at it, my mind being bombarded with memories of my parents.

"You all right?" Stefan asks from beside me. I nod, still staring out at the house.

"I'm good. I just haven't been back here since before…" I trail off with the memories.

"Oh my God." Stefan sighs. "Ok, Elena. Just say the word, we'll get back on that highway, we'll go anywhere else." He adds and I continue to stare at it before smiling.

"I've always loved it here.I want it to stay that way, I was just…" I trail, looking for the correct words to use at that moment. "Having a moment." I add, before turning to look at Stefan.

"Ok." He says softly while nodding and I nod back. A bright smile on my face with a slight sheen of tears. I don't know why I'm so emotional today, but I'll embrace it. I then step out of the car with my bag and walk into the large cabin-esque house. I place my bag on the counter and I turn to see Stefan still outside the door.

"You don't have to wait out there. I'm good." I say.

"Oh, that's great because I'm, uh… I'm stuck." He tells me and I realize what he's saying. He's not invited in yet. Then a little mischievous thought comes into my mind and I decide to have a little fun.

"Oh my God, you can't get in." I say, sounding very worried.

"Not gonna be a very romantic weekend unless you uh, invite me inside." He says and I tuck a hair behind my ear and try to sound as worried as possible.

"Stefan I can't." I say frustratedly.

"What?" He asks, raising his eyebrows.

"My parents left this place to John Gilbert. He's the only one who can invite you in." his expression almost makes me laugh, but I remain stoic. 'I'm sorry, I completely forgot." I add with a sad expression.

"You're kidding me, right?" He asks frustratedly and it's then that I allow myself to smile.

"Stefan Salvatore, I hereby invite you into this home." I say with a laugh.

"You are such a liar." He says before picking me up and kissing me. I wrap my legs around his waist kissing him just as passionately in return before he sets me on the counter. We continue kissing and I allow myself to get taken with the sensation. Taking me away from all of my sorrows, regrets and Damon.

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**(Damon's POV:)**

I'm walking throughout Lockwood manor before a familiar voice speaks to me, "Damon, what are you doing here?" I turn to look at Jenna standing by Alaric. I just ignore her and walk directly over to Carol Lockwood.

"Damon." She says brightly extending her hand.

"Carol." I acknowledge her in return taking her hand.

"What a surprise."

"Hi." I reply and we greet each other with a mock kiss on the cheek.

"Hi." She replies while leading me over to Elijah. "Elijah, I want you to meet, Damon Salvatore." She says and if looks could kill Elijah is currently scraping my ashes off the floor. "His family is one of Mystic Falls' Founding Families." She adds.

"Mm-Hmm." I hum glancing back at Elijah whose expression hasn't changed at all. "Such a pleasure to meet you." I add with a slight smirk.

"No. Pleasure's mine." He replies before we shave hands rather awkwardly. I'm sure we both want to kill each other at this moment, but aren't able to due to the environment. Great. This is exactly how I wanted this party to go.

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**(Elena's POV:)**

I'm standing on the dock of the lack wrapped in a cozy blanket, my mind going back to those times. I remember once when Jeremy accidentally fell in and dad had to get him out. I'm surprised that along didn't keep him away from the water even when-

"Having another moment?" I hear Stefan's voice behind me before he wraps his arms around me from behind and gives me a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Jeremy broke his arm diving off this dock when he was 6." I say with a smile. I remember I was so angry at him for ruining the vacation, but we ended up all watching a new movie that I was wanting to see at the time after he came back from the hospital which made up for it. "My dad taught me how to fish off the edge up there." I add, the new memory taking over me. "So many memories. Do you ever think about us? What our future will be like? Our memories?" I ask. I don't ask about the future very often, but now since I'm not sure I have a future for very much longer I can't help but be curious.

"I think there are long conversations to be had about our future." He tells me and for some reason that isn't what I want to hear. Why isn't that enough? I just shake off that small feeling within me. "About the kind of life we could have together." He adds which makes me think back to the whole family situation. I couldn't have a family with Stefan, but it's not like I'll live long enough to even have a family anymore.

"Now there's a box that we shouldn't open." I sigh with a bit of sadness.

"Oh, we can open it… whenever you're ready." He says and that just depresses me more.

"No. I'd rather just be here… now." I say gazing off into the lake once more, but this time with more sadness.

"You know, this is a future memory. It's where your boyfriend whispers to you that he loved you." He says before putting his mouth closer to my ear and whispering, "I love you." I smile, but it doesn't seem genuine and I can't understand why. Why am I so sad right now. What's bothering me? He stands there for a bit longer before telling me that he's going to finish unpacking everything and once again I'm alone staring at the shimmering waters.

I sit on the edge of it, my feet awaking softly. I close my eyes trying to figure out what's bothering me. The faint whisper of a memory surfaces. '_You're no better than Katherine.' _Once again I feel the tears form in my eyes and I'm starting to get frustrated with myself. Why am I so upset over that?! I should care less what Damon thinks of me, yet I can't help but care. I care about him liking me and seeing me for my own person. 'But why?' I keep asking myself. 'Why?'

I glance at the aqua blue waters beneath me once more and smile. I think this is where my connection to the color blue started from. My dad once told me a story of the water spirit. How they listen to those they love with love and compassion. Yet, if you anger them, it's more devastating than a hurricane. The first time I looked within Damon's eyes I thought for a second that maybe he was a water spirit. I've never seen anyone with such blue eyes, and even now he still reminds me of the tales.

Is that why I value his opinion? No. But why? Why? I rub my temples to ease my headache. He yells at me, he tried to kill my brother, he's killed thousands of people and yet… I still care.

'_I love you Elena, and it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you… and why you can't know this. I don't deserve you… but my brother does.' _

The words that haunt me to this day. The words that bring up so much conflict within my head and also my- no. I can't admit that. But every time I remember his confession it always ends in me saying the same thing.

"Don't leave me."

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**(Damon's POV:)**

I open the door for Elijah to step inside to talk to him privately and follow him inside.

"What can I do for you, Damon?" Elijah asks me and I turn to face him.

"I was hoping we could have a word."

"Where's Elena?" He asks and I feel a pang in my heart at the mention of her name.

"Safe with Stefan." I reply, trying to sound as cool as possible. "They're laying low you know… bit of a werewolf problem."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that."

"I'm sure you did since it was your witch that saved the day." I reply snarkily.

"You are welcome-"

"Which adds to my confusion as to exactly why you're here." I snip in and I could see him growing more frustrated with me.

"Why don't you stay focused on keeping Elena safe and leave the rest to me." He tells me and I vamp speed in front of him.

"Not good enough." I warn him, but his expression is blank. He grabs my throat and vamp speeds us over to press me against the nearest wall. I grab his throat, but he isn't bothered by it at all. He just peels my hand away from his throat and I groan in pain due to my wrist bones being broken.

"You young vampires, so arrogant. How dare you come in here and challenge me?" He asks, his voice is monotone yet I don't fear for my life due to Elena's deal.

"You can't kill me, man. It's not part of the deal." I grunt out.

"Silence." He says before grabbing a pencil and stabbing me in the throat. I groan in pain from the wood and crumple to the floor before pulling it out. The wound is deep so it's taking a while to heal. "I'm an original. Show a little respect." He says while wiping his hands on a handkerchief before handing it out to me. I snatch it from his hands and bring it to my wound which is still throbbing in pain. "The moment you cease to be of use to me, you're dead, so you should do what I say." He says, his expression changing to a smug one and I want to rip out his throat, yet I'm not _that _dumb. "Keep Elena safe." He adds before leaving me while I have to tend to my wound.

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**(Elena's POV:)**

I'm sitting on the couch with a glass of wine. This is my third glass so I am a bit tipsy at the moment which has lowered my inhibitions. I'm staring at Stefan chop some vegetables with a smile.

"My dad did all the cooking, too." I say smiling at the memory.

"And your mom?" He questions and I scoff slightly.

"She sat right here and watched." I reply smiling at the irony of this situation. "She couldn't cook either." I laugh and turn around to see the fire with less wood and I move to place my glass down. "Fire's dying." I inform him.

"Oh yeah. I'll go get more wood." He says and I'm taking off my blanket.

"I've got it." I dismissed him.

"No, no. It's cold outside." He tells me and wrinkles my nose when he acts like I'm a delicate child.

"Hey. So, I'll get a jacket." I say before moving into my parents old room and stop. I look at the dresser and see a bottle of perfume that my mother used to like. I pick it up and smell it softly smiling at the remembrance of her smell. I could see Stefan standing there from the corner of my eye as I placed it down. "My mom's perfume. Jenna was supposed to pack all of the things out but… she kept putting it off." I say while moving to the closet and turning on the lights to look at all the clothes in there. I softly stroke a jacket as I add softly, "I don't blame her." The small noise Stefan makes in the background snaps me from my thoughts and I pick up my great granddad's old jacket before tossing it to him. "Here. Bundle up… it was my great granddad's… and you look very hot in it." I say with a small smile.

"I look hot in you dead, great granddad's jacket?" He asks me, an amused expression on his face. He moves closer to me and I smile.

"Beyond hot." I tease and he moves to kiss me before pinning me against the closet wall.

"That was my parents bedroom." I say and he just kisses me again. There are two hollow knocks as my back hits the wall at separate times which causes Stefan to break the kiss and look at the wall with furrowed brows. "What?" I ask and he knocks on the wall.

"Huh."

"What?" I ask glancing at the wall then back to him.

"This is hollow inside." He says before he finds the secret handle and opens the wooden paneling.

"What is it?" I ask as he observes the door behind it.

"It's a really good hiding place." He says before ripping off the door handle and pushing the door aside. He turns on the lights...

"Oh my God." I breathe out in shock.

Why do my parents have a room with weapons along every wall?!

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**(Damon's POV:)**

"Well that was a bust." I say with a pout to Alaric sitting on the couch next to me. We went straight back to my house after the incident and I was sitting there with some alcohol and my emotional support friend.

"Yeah. How's the throat?" He asks

"Sore." I pout like a child but I can't will myself to care at this particular moment.

"Yeah, that Elijah's one scary dude… but with nice hair." He says and I stare at the empty glass within my hands. "Hey, you want another one?" He asks while standing up to refill his own glass as well.

"He's going to be hard to kill." I mumble as Alaric is refilling our glasses.

"Yeah, I'd think twice before I'd trust that dagger and some ashes to do the job… you're going to need more info."

"I'm out of sources." I tell him and he sighs.

"I hate lying to Jenna." He sighs moving to sit next to me. He then checks his watch as I stretch. "Oh God… I got to pick Jenna up. Don't worry. I'll uh, show myself out."

"Good luck." I snip in with my arms folded behind my head. When Alaric is gone a crash from the room Alaric just got into gets my attention and I get up immediately to spot the disturbance. I see Alatic impaled with a knife and he's groaning in pain. A guy drops from the ceiling and runs towards me, hopping on my back. He then injects me with vervain and I groan from the pain. I vamp speed anywhere I can to get him off my back so that I can tear him apart but I soon fall down from the vervain.

"Woo you're strong. Took the whole syringe." He says before more werewolves pile into the room. "Grab that one. He's dead." He says referring to Alaric. Then Jules gets into the room.

"Hi, Damon… nice to see you again." She says with a smirk and I lose consciousness.

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**(Elena's POV:)**

I'm looking through my parents secret weapons room with furrowed brows. Why did my parents even have all of this stuff? Just then a book catches my eye and I immediately recognize it.

"These must be the other Johnathan Gilbert journals." I say to Stefan who's just outside the door. "Jeremy had the one, but John said that there were others." I say quietly, looking at the book within my hands.

"I'll go get the firewood." Stefan says remembering why we came here in the first place. "I'll let you have a moment." He adds and I'm grateful for it. I've just learned something new about my parents and I definitely need some time to sort out all of my thoughts. Stefan leaves the room and I pick up a small wooden spiked bullet off the floor, inspecting it within my hands.

Who even were my parents? Did I even know them at all?

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**(Damon's POV:)**

I woke up to the feeling of a tight spiked collar around my throat, digging into my skin and what made it worse was that I was having to look at Rick's temporary dead body… I'm just having a fantastic day. I look over to see the guy who attacked me in the first place.

"Morning sunshine." He says and I groan. "I saw this movie once, some torture porn flick. Anyway, they had this collar device that was really cool, so I just modified it with some wooden nails and when I pull…" He trails off before pulling the chains attached to the collar the wooden stakes dig into my throat and I yelp in pain.

"So, I hear you have the moonstone." Jules says from behind my torturer. I just started laughing at her serious expression. What irony.

"Oh, if you only knew the irony of this moment right now." I say referring to Mason. "Let me tell you how this is gonna go. You're gonna torturer me, I don't talk, someone loses a heart. Last time it was your boy, Mason." I add and I see the hatred fill within her gaze as she steps closer to me.

"This time, it will be you." She says before signalling the werewolf who was holding the chains to pull once more and I groan while giving him the death stare.

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**(Elena's POV:)**

I'm walking through the house and it's been over ten minutes since Stefan has left and I'm starting to get a little worried.

When I pass next to the open front door I ask, "Are you growing the trees out there?" No reply. Okay, something is wrong… I look behind me, feeling rather uncomfortable. I turn back to the door and move closer to it. "Stefan?" I ask. When no one replies again I pick up a stake next to me and slowly approach the door. When I step outside I ask, "What are you doing out there?" Just then I hear someone behind me and stab the person in the gut. He has cropped hair and winces in pain. I ran past him, back into the house and shut and lock the door. I sprint upstairs and I hear the door get kicked open from downstairs. I ran into a guest room in a panicked mess.

"I can smell you." The man says from downstairs and my breathing hitches in fear. I take off the jacket that I was wearing and quietly move to an identical room adjacent to this one. I put my hand over my mouth as a way to silence my heavy breathing as I hear him come upstairs and head into the room that I was in earlier. It's now or never. I silently head downstairs and shut the front door loudly as a distraction before moving into my parents old room. I grab a stake from the closet and hide under the bed. He soon comes into this room and seeing the closet light on, he heads into it. He shifts through the clothes before opening the door to the weapons room. I make my way out from under the bed and stab him in the back. He falls to the ground with a loud thud. I shuffle backwards and sprint out the room again, knowing that that won't stop him for very long. I run out the door, he's right behind me and books it for the car. I reach the car but I hear my chaser groan in pain and turn to see Stefan ripping his heart out.

"It's okay. It's okay. You're okay." He tells me and I sprint over to hug him tightly. I close my eyes enjoying the embrace and when I reopen them I see Tyler standing behind us.

"Tyler?" I ask in confusion.

"I didn't know what they were gonna do to you. I didn't." He says, sounding deeply apologetic. I look up at Stefan before looking back at Tyler. "I just… I didn't want to be like this anymore." He says to me and I feel sympathy start to flood over me. He didn't ask to be a werewolf and it must be so hard for him. I move up to him and hug him gently. "I'm sorry, Elena." He says sounding on the verge of tears. I've known him for years and I know that he's a good person. He was just misguided.

"It's okay." I whisper to him softly. He holds onto me tighter and I do the same in a comforting manner. I truly hope that things get better for him.

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**(Damon's POV:)**

I've been torched for an hour? Maybe longer at this point and they've gotten nothing out of me.

"You know what the great thing about Buckshot is?" Jules asks me, referring to the gun within her hands. "It scatters through the body… maximum damage." She adds snarkily and I rain my eyebrows in a sarcastic manner. I can sense that her patience is thinning and she points the gun at me. 'Where's the moonstone." She snaps at me.

"Get it over honey. You're never gonna get it." I snap back.

"You looking for this?" A voice that I could know from anywhere says from behind us. Elijah. Holding the moonstone. That goddamn prick! He walks over to us flaunting it to the pack and places it on the counter in front of them. He gestures to it before taking a step back. "Go ahead. Take it." He says and a pack member foolishly rushes for it but Elijah effortlessly rips the stupid boy's heart out. Two more rush for it and Elijah takes them down with just as much ease. Jules, who knows better than her pack, runs away, leaving my torturer left. He cowers on the floor, covering his head with his jacket. Is he really that much of a wuss? "What about you sweetheart, Hmm." He snides at the cowering pack member. He stands up in an attempt to follow his instructions and save his life. "You want to take a shot?" Elijah asks him. The kid just shakes his head, a frightened expression on his face. "Where's the girl?" He asks me and I just shake my head.

"I don't know." I say and he appears slightly annoyed but just looks at the frightened pack member.

"It doesn't really matter." He says before punching the kid in the face, causing him to pass out. He then frees me from my collar. "So you realize this is the third time I've saved your life now?" He asks me to just stare at him with a weary expression. I sit there and take off my collar groaning at the initial pain of taking out the stakes from my neck, but the relief afterwards is great. Yeah… I'm going to take a rest for a while.

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**(Elena's POV:)**

I approach Stefan from behind him as he's putting his phone back in his pocket. He turns around to face me with a tired expression.

"That was, um- That was Damon. We need to talk." He says seriously as I'm buttoning up my coat.

"What is it?" I ask curiously while moving some stray strands of hair behind my ear.

"We learned that Elijah is planning for you to die in the sacrifice ritual." He tells me and I just sigh. I knew that he had that planned for me and I was hoping that Stefan never questioned it… I guess it was inevitable.

"I know the deal I made, Stefan." I say stepping closer to him. "Elijah's very careful with his words. He promised to protect my friends, he never said a word about me." I admit to him tensely knowing that he won't take this well.

"You mean, you knew that you weren't gonna survive this?" He asks me, a shocked and hurt tone evident in his voice.

"If it comes down to the people that I love getting killed or me, I know what my choice is gonna be." I tell him seriously. I can't have the ones that I love dying for me. Not anymore. It seems like no matter how much I try to tell everyone, no one seems to care about how I feel.

"Elena, How- How could you stand out there earlier with me, talk about making plans for the future when you don't even expect to have one?" He asks, sounding hurt.

"I'm sorry, Stefan. I'm just trying to keep the people that I love safe. I'm trying to keep you safe." I plead with him. Trying to make him understand.

"No. What you're doing is being a martyr." He accuses me which causes me to furrow my brows and heat to start rushing over me.

"How is that any different from when you say that you would die to keep me safe?" I ask frustratedly.

"Because I've already lived. 162 years I've lived and you've barely begun, and now you want to let yourself get killed?" He asks and I just stand there. There's nothing I could say to that. "That's not heroic. It's tragic." He adds shaking his head before moving past me. I just sigh and hold the coat closer to my body, willing myself not to cry.

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**A/N: Did you guys enjoy this chapter? I made it both Elena and Damon's POV throughout the episode and I hope that you all enjoyed this. Tell me in the reviews if you enjoyed these longer chapters and dual POV's. Have wonderful days and nights!**


	6. Author's Note

Hi!

Before I get into this A/N I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who supported me as a writer or simply this fanfiction in general. I greatly appreciate you all and I wanted to say thank you to each and everyone of you beautiful people!

I'm making this note because I wanted to state that this fanfic updates will be halted due to the lack of time on my hands, however I will be doing weekly (maybe more that one a week) updates on my second fanfic, 'The Path that Leads to You and Me.'

Before I conclude this note I'd just like to say that I love reviews and personal messages, so if you have any suggestions, recommendations or requests, feel free to do so! Once again thank you all so much and I'll be writing again soon! Stay safe and healthy everyone!

-Neens


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